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There is no coincidence that I wrote about gratitude and appreciation about the same time last year. That was the beginning of my discovery of how to be happy.

It is no secret that I’ve recently read The Secret (pun intended) and it has both reminded me of and focused me on being grateful.

This year, more than ever, we’ve all had doom and gloom constantly broadcasted on all kinds of media. Even to the most focused and detached people, this has been a challenge. It has been impossible to ignore empty roads and towns, people panic buying, wearing masks even in their vehicles, staying away from hugging even the people they live with. There is less and less people working at the shops and, in some cases, machines taking their place (that is how I call the self check out). Our high streets look like those places built like a prop for the movie set. But which movies are going to be made on those streets depends largely on us.

So, The Secret comes at the right time as a recommendation by one of my clients. She was adamant that this book changes lives of everyone who reads it.

Being a spiritual person and contemplating on all matters philosophical in life, I thought that I got it all covered. Until I got to the chapter that talks about being grateful, feeling grateful and showing it.

What has really surprised me was my reaction to what I was realising- it isn’t enough to know that we should be grateful, or even say it, we have to feel it and emit that energy back to the world.

Before too long, my closest family were all baffled by the change in me. They were all asking what has happened to me and why was I so nice all of a sudden. I was in shock. I honestly believed that I was a nice person always and to everyone and that it was certainly what I was emanating to them. My son basically told me to stop confusing him and to choose which person do I want to be- the loving and caring or the moody one. So, my instant reply was to carry on consciously showing my love that I was feeling all along.

Life really takes on a different meaning when you practice gratefulness every day. I now go into the smallest of details, acknowledging what I am grateful for and I really am feeling it. It all makes a difference to my day, from a beautiful sunrise that I stoped to admire for a moment, to warm water to wash myself with, a car that always takes me where I need to get to, taking my child/children to school because they still can’t drive, noticing all of the autumn colours surrounding us wherever we go, a roof over my head, money in my bank account, food in the fridge. I say a little gratefulness prayer before my every meal and I bless all the people involved in the food chain- from those that have grown it, picked it, transported it, packaged it, brought it to our shops, put it on the shelves, to me who bought it, brought it home, occasionally cooked it and is now gratefully receiving it!

I am not saying that everyone should do the same, but I enjoy this process, it makes me feel aware, present and grateful, which in turn makes me happy.

So, there you have it. This is my secret of how to be happy at any moment.

I hope that you find yours too.

Love and light,

Angela x.

 

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This year has been challenging to say the least. I am not going to list all the things that have happened, that made me think deeper, change my perspective, soul search, etc. Instead, I want to focus on where I am right now and what I would like my future to be.

I am feeling rebellious. I have had enough of the restrictions, caution, of putting my life on hold. Why should I keep doing it? They say it’s for the common good. Well, guess what- I have been doing that for lifetimes, literally tens of thousands of years over and over again (those that don’t believe in re incarnation might have lost me at this point). This lifetime feels like the final test of my patience and strength. Am I willing to carry on with this Martyr lifestyle where everyone and everything comes before me- work, parenthood, relationships, commitments, public service, etc. The answer is-NO.

Admittedly, it is easier said than done to change my life completely. How do I go about doing it?

I have done SO MUCH work on myself, to feel better, to be healthier, to look better, to be a better person, within my current situation. But I have never put myself first. It has always been done it in between doing things for others.

So, the first step towards putting myself first is facing it all. The second step is deciding that enough is enough. The third step is to start acting like I am my number 1: a lay in in bed over the weekend, making myself a cup of tea before rushing to cook breakfast for everyone, going for a walk when I feel like it, taking a break when I’m tired, travelling, trying out new hobbies, refusing to run around for others all the time, listening to my body, expressing how I feel, voicing my opinion, basically doing my own thing whether they like it or not.

I know that some call this middle life crisis, and they are entitled to their own views (I am not saying their own opinion, because it’s not). If that’s what’s going to make me feel like I am actually alive, so be it. Those that really care will accept this change in me with time. Those that don’t (i.e. those that are loosing a servant, and a general run around person) very well shouldn’t be in my life anyway.

So, there it is. Living one’s life does mean paying a price of losing people and putting new rules and boundaries in place. But, what is the alternative? I am done with just plodding along, waiting for the next instruction and trying to make everyone else happy. I am making myself happy and those that want to stick around are welcome. Those that don’t, I wish you love and light and all the best in the future.

Blessings,

Angela.

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This is my aim. There is no time limit as to when do I want to reach it. I just want to live from my heart.

But, let us talk about our Heart chakra for a moment. It is the 4th bodily chakra. The colours associated with it are pink and green ( it applies when choosing anything that might influence it- from eating a fresh green salad to wearing a Rose Quartz crystal and a green coloured top).

Heart Math institute has established that there are more neural pathways (nerves) coming out of our heart than coming to it from our brain! They call it our “2nd brain”. We feel from our heart, it pumps our life juice around our body. It acts as a magnet.You get the picture. It’s irreplaceable in one’s body.

In spiritual terms, they say that Heart chakra is our energetic centre. Life force energy enters our body through it, comes out through our back and then swirls around our aura. Some say that the whole point of Ascension is to live from the heart.

So, first of all, we have to open our Heart and that is a gradual process. Our Heart is like a 33 petal lotus flower. Every petal opens up after we’ve mastered a lesson (like self love) or let something go for good. We have to be willing and brave to keep our Heart open, which is a challenge in a world that we live in. We have to trust that our love is stronger than any negativity. We feel things stronger than we’ve ever experienced it before and that’s something to get used to. But, at the same time, we learn to discern whether something is worth the bother or not. And some things just can’t get through to us any more. We attract only the people and situations that resonate (which are for our highest good). We feel what’s true and what’s not. We can spread love even when we just think of someone or send them a message. People start feeling our energy, it touches them. Miracles start to happen (or call it serendipity or synchronicity).

The only challenge then becomes, how to keep vibing high and keep our Heart open. That requires being connected to it, listening to what it is saying to you and consciously doing your best to keep the energy flowing.

When I first decided that I will listen to my Heart and follow it (two years ago), it was a scary time. I felt like I was taking a huge risk. But, I wouldn’t have been here sharing my life story with you if I didn’t take that chance. I wouldn’t have gone and done what none of my friends or family ever had even thought of doing, which is to open a healing practice. I followed a call to visit Bosnian pyramids, which was life changing. I started a spiritual gathering circle and met some amazingly talented spiritual people. I did frog medicine (Kambo) and plant medicine (Iboga) which further changed my life beyond recognition. And, last but not least, I wouldn’t have connected with the powerful beings that are the Dragons. They have huge hearts filled with pure love for all.

So, there we are. This is where my living from the heart has taking me so far. Who knows what’s next. All I know is that I’m LOVING IT.

 

Love and light,

 

Angela.

 

 

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This is a slight diversion from my initial idea about this month’s blog. It is closely related to it, though.

Recently, going through my own self discovery and through the work with my clients, something struck me as odd. Why is it that we find listening to our body so alien? It should be the most natural thing to everyone. But it isn’t, at least not in case when you’re an adult.

This leads me to the topic of being our true, authentic self. How can you be yourself, if you don’t know who you are?! How can you know what you need if you’re disconnected from yourself?!

Well, there is no time like the present to find that out. Start wherever you are and ask yourself: “What do I feel like doing right now?” , or “How am I feeling at this moment?” They can be the simplest questions that you can think of to yourself about yourself.

Journalling really has been my go to number 1 in self understanding. My healing journey started when I wrote down my life history in terms of what impacted me as a person the most throughout my life. Since, I have been writing down my thoughts, feelings, events that have happened more recently, as well as revelations about myself and relationships in my life.

I have to admit that I wasn’t my real self in the past either. Most of my life I have been desperately trying to fit into the environment that I was in, painting a picture of who I thought people around me wanted me to be. It was stressful, it was painful and it didn’t work. It made me ill and depressed.

Dear fellow human beings, please consider coming out of your shells, your hiding places and start revealing who you truly are. Start by doing it on your own, for yourself. It isn’t about anyone else after all, or for anyone else. Do it for you, discover yourself, get to know your thoughts, feelings, wants, desires, hobbies, food preferences, how you like to use your time and energy. Focus on you for a change. I cannot emphasise this enough. Discover who you are and then be it. Otherwise, you will never be truly happy or free.

We are born free and should die free as well. But, the job of freeing ourselves from all of the conditioning falls down on us. Only we can make that decision and make it happen. And so we should, as a divine reflection in human form, starseed beings, free spirits, indestructible souls.

We are all energy and energy cannot be contained, it cannot be stopped. It’s very nature is to flow at it’s own pace, wherever it is drawn to go. I can feel it, the everlasting flow that is us, that flows through us since the universe was created and forever more. We are IT. We are the life force searching for it’s true self through space and time. And I wish for you all to find that, to find yourselves soon. So, join the flow tribe. I will meet you there.

With love and light,

Angela.

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There is this thing called shadow work. I have been at it for a number of years now. It starts with us acknowledging that we are not perfect and that we have to face our own shadow. Our shadow consists of everything that we don’t like about ourselves and the things that we don’t like about our life. There comes a time when we all need to look ourselves in the mirror (‘Man in the mirror’ by Michael Jackson comes to mind).

So, if it’s something that we don’t want to see, why should we do it anyway? It’s because that is the whole point of our existence- to watch and learn and get better at it, at being human.

The tipping point for me was 6 years ago when my health was in a downward spiral. I had brain fog, chronic pain and was exhausted to the point of blackouts. It was becoming dangerous for me to drive. I had to do something, as I had two children to look after, a house, a garden and I was trying to start a business and have just moved house. So, after going down the conventional route of GP, muscular-skeletal specialists, MRI scan, etc., I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Discus Hernia. Because I didn’t want to take pain killers, I was left with doing hydro therapy. That was really pleasant for the moment when I was in warm water. The moment that I came out, everything would start to get on top of me again.

So, an alternative therapist and a close friend of mine, Kim, recommended this amazing chiropractor and a healer, Rene. I knew about chiropractors, but what was a healer? Before I could see him, I had to write my life story- put every significant event in my life in an email to him. As I sat down and tried to recall everything good and bad, many emotions came up for me to deal with. At one point, I asked myself: ‘Why is it that these people and situations still have an impact on me? They are all just a memory now.’ That helped me create a distance between myself and my emotionally charged memories. That was a turning point in my life and a beginning of self healing.

What followed was a series of healing sessions with crystals, energy healing and chiropractice. A whole new world opened up to me and I have been ever since living on daily reading, watching videos, doing courses, having endless discussions, meditating, meeting more likeminded people, opening up a healing practice and doing the healing for others, as well as for myself.

Now, 6 years later, I am still dealing with my shadow, but it has less power over me, it’s layers are thinning and it’s existence is fading away. I know that shadow work never ends, but it allows us to become free, to become who we really are meant to be in this life (as my dear friend, Dee, says).

So, it is up to each end every one of us to decide whether we want to do the shadow work/self discovery or not. But one thing is for sure- nobody else can do it for us.

Love and light,

Angela.

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This title might deter a few readers. However, after both my mentor and my father dying this year, I have to look death in the eye.

I have decided to accept it as a teacher, rather than a taboo that it has been until recently. There is much to be learnt from the process of dying. Just like the birth does, death comes in it’s own time and takes over a person’s life. As a result, it also makes a lasting change in the lives of everyone that knows and loves the deceased person. But, how do we deal with the fact that someone has gone from this plane of existence for ever? How long does it take to get over someone’s passing? Do we ever get completely over someone’s death or is it just that we have to learn to live with it?

One evening, in an attempt to find any sort of guidance as to how to deal with my grief, a friend recommended a book “Die wise” by Stephen Jenkinson. I looked it up straight away and found a number of interviews done on him, where he goes into the depth and his background knowledge on the subject. He has been working in palliative care for decades and has decided to write the book based on his interactions with the dying and their families, as well as from a perspective of palliative care personnel. He tackles with the fact that we (our modern society) have detached ourselves from the fact that we all have to die one day. We use modern research and medicine to combat the process of ageing and dying. We don’t see it as a natural part of life, but as almost a disease or a condition that we have to fight or at least delay as much as possible.

Both my father and my mentor died in pain. They were fighters and they gave their all to be able to carry on for as long as was possible. Both of them had people around who were trying to help look after them. They took various kinds of medication (both conventional and alternative), changed their diet and deepened their spiritual beliefs. And just when it seemed like they were going to pull out of the dying process, they passed away.

Jenkinson made an interesting observation that in the eyes of a child, death isn’t traumatic. Children can see that a person is changing and that things are different about a dying person, but they don’t think about the death and therefore don’t grieve. They watch everyone and everything involved and learn from it. They are present in each moment and don’t worry about the future.

Unlike children, I worried about the death of my father years in advance. I would wake up and have the thought in my head that he died. I would then call home to make sure that everything is ok. And, ironically, on the day that he died, I had no premonition. The last time I spoke to him he sounded almost like his old self and I was certain that he was winning against the inevitable.

My father was a warmhearted man who always thought about other people first, who loved his family and friends, who always had great advice, who knew how to calm me down and who I felt unconditional love and understanding from. Those are the gifts that will stay with me forever and I can hope and try to make others feel the same way that he made me feel. Because, feelings and memories are the things that we take everywhere with us, even when we pass on. They change us and shape us as deep as becoming a part of our soul. So, I will finish with that thought and a saying from my mentor, which is:

Keep smiling 🙂

Love and light to you all,

Angela.

 

 

 

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It has been a while since I’ve written a blog. This quarantine has turned my whole world upside down. Perhaps I needed a fresh perspective on life?

Anyhow, I have been doing a lot of internal reflecting during the past 8 weeks, even more than usual. I went deep into my feelings, my relationships, work, past present and future lives. In a word, I overdid it. You can look at it as, I had to do it one last time, before deciding to focus on the here and now.

I’ve always escaped into my own world, whenever things got tough or were challenging my modus operandi. In the past I would physically walk away. So, this is a step forward- I was physically present, but absent in my mind. Because of the lack of interaction with people and not having to rush around all the time, I was daydreaming most of the time. It was a perfect state of being for someone who never had enough uninterrupted time to let their thoughts loose.

However, I noticed that, by doing that, I was being at odds with my current situation. My children noticed my mental distance, I wasn’t doing anything productive in my life and I didn’t want to engage in the new norm. I tried to escape the fact that nothing is certain any more, that I am not comfortable with the unknown, that I have to put my money where my mouth is and prove my trust in the Universe. As a spiritual person, I should be able to surrender to the Higher Guidance and let it guide me. So, why do I feel threatened by the uncertainty on the face of it? Shouldn’t I know better and trust that there is a grand scheme of things and that we are all looked after at every moment of our existence? I was lead astray by fear and the abundance of my own imagination.

I will tell you what brought me back- genuine love and concern from people close to me and my body feeling exhausted. I spent almost a whole day in bed, feeling cold and shivery, exhausted and realising that I can’t carry on like that. I cannot carry on escaping from the facts of what’s waiting for me to be addressed. Being spiritual means being aware of our responsibilities, accepting them and trusting that we will be guided towards a solution. All we need to do is ask and it will be given. And, yes, trust that it will.

In love and light,

Angela.

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Please don’t be scarred by the title. As a spiritual being, I want to focus on looking past my physical body. I am hoping that would also give me a bit of a relief from the pain of loosing my friend and mentor very recently.

I have studied the Bible for a decade before even discovering crystals. It keeps saying that we all have a Soul and a Spirit. Jesus has died and resurrected into a life of a spirit, meaning that he left his human body and carried on living elsewhere. That is what I am trying to connect to so hard particularly now, looking, sensing, hoping for a sign that my friend has carried on living where Jesus resides.

On this spiritual quest for enlightenment, we are all meant to merge our soul (that is placed above our crown, in our aura), into our physical body. That merge is called ‘ascension’. It means that we then become a multi dimensional living being. That hasn’t been possible for a very long time for our race (some say since the fall of Atlantis) and now it is, due to the spiritual work that we have done on ourselves.

I believe in reincarnation, partially because I have had spontaneous past life recollections over the years. I keep meeting people that feel familiar. I keep having de ja vue moments. I am have been born with fears that have nothing to do with this life experiences. I have sensed, felt and heard spirits (and know of a lot of others who have experienced the same), and so on.

We are a soul having an Earthly life. We have existed many times before and will carry on existing in other forms in the future. So, why do I feel so bound by my body, my circumstances, my origin, my heritage, my past? A soul should feel happy and free. It is supposed to have a free will. How do we exercise our free will when we have responsibilities towards people, jobs, bills to pay, promises we made? All of that and much more ways us down (education or mind washing, social conditioning, traditional beliefs, upbringing, karma,…).

When you look at the whole picture, that is near an impossible task, given that our memory of any previous life has been deleted. We live in amnesia.

So, why would anyone in their right mind want to come to Earth then? The truth is that we (souls) wanted to experience all of this, so that we can appreciate how good it is up there. We have collected karma that has to be paid off. We get ‘a promotion’ or un upgrade every time we return from Earth. And, ultimately, we want to help out other souls that wouldn’t have been able to finish this task without us and vice versa. Dumb, I know, but it’s the truth. There is nothing like learning from experience that teaches you a lesson or two.

I guess one of my soul lessons was to accept that we are all one and that I would be nothing if I didn’t have the right people around me. That is the lesson that my friend, Rene, taught me. And, I know, that it goes the other way too.

Peace and love my friends.

Angela.

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In December, my friend and mentor has gone to the hospital. He is still in there.

My son was also admitted to a hospital last month with a serious injury. Due to his age and good health (and his chosen diet), he came out the same day. He is recovering well.

While I was visiting family last week in Serbia, my father was referred to hospital with Deep Vein Thrombosis. It’s been an ongoing health issue for the last 2-3 years.

So, here I am reflecting on January 2019 when my healing “business” was launched overshadowed with the latest developments.

How does a person split themselves between realities, wishes and possibilities (including timelines and dimensions)? Working with people and always searching for answers, I am discovering that there is SO much more to a human being than the naked eye can see.

What the eye can see is the tip of the iceberg. We have layers of aura around us, our body covers up the intricate internal body system as well as our soul. Our soul connects us to the Divine/God/Source. Our soul is the ever lasting, indestructible energy that keeps on travelling through space and time, collecting experiences and changing form. Our emotions are the world of the own, as is our Ego/rational self.

No wonder it takes us a while to process everything that happens (and a lot does every day). So, we are forever catching up with our mind, body and soul, trying to bring it all together into now/the present moment.

Good luck fellow humans. We’ve got quite a ride ahead of us, before it all comes into balance. First it has to happen within us, in order for it to be around us.

We are co creators of our reality. We are the ones who wanted to experience free will and have never quite grasped the responsibility side of it.

However, the more that we take time to process our thoughts, wishes and emotions, the more we get to understand ourselves and others. The more that we become (by doing the work) conscious of ourselves, the more we consciously choose people, places and circumstances, the more we create our desired reality.

Therefore, I could take the recent events as being a victim of circumstances or as the Universe testing my strength as per my request. These things come at a perfect time for us to show what we’ve learnt and how well we respond (not react) to life’s challenges. And, somewhere along the line, we get rewarded and upgraded to a higher level (of wisdom, strength and consciousness). That’s what the Earth school is all about.

Saying that, I just might choose a different school for my next lifetime. I hope that my next experience is a more enjoyable one. This school has been a bit intense, to say the least.

Stay well and look after yourselves, dear souls.

Love and light,

Angela x.

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Before I can go into the next year and a new decade, I have to take one last look back on the year that made me.

In January 2019, I launched my healing business (domain name, website, a treatment room). It was a dream come true and I was the happiest person alive!

In March I visited the Bosnian pyramids. That trip delivered in bucketloads and more! Healing energy was everywhere: in the air, on the ground and even more so underground. The beauty of the place and it’s people left me wanting to come back every year for the rest of my life. It is the only place that ever truly felt like home.

In May I went to my niece’s wedding in my home country, Serbia. I haven’t been to a wedding for 15 years and I danced all night. The atmosphere of love and happiness filled me up for months to come.

In August we went to an english wedding in Macedonia. That was another magical day, filled with family reunions, music and dance.

On 9th of September, I opened my healing practice in town, joining a vibrant team consisting of: Pilates, Yoga, Pole Dancing, Belly dancing and Feldenkreiss healing technique. Since then, I have been working flat out to make things happen and to balance it with my home life too. I’ve never been a working mum before. Some might say that I had an easy life up to now. There is some truth in it, but I’ve always known that I had more in me, that a higher calling was out there for me to find it. This is it. It’s a culmination of a lifetime of soul searching, reading, learning, thinking, meditating, clearing, reflecting, deep conversations, visions, higher guidance, of looking for a purpose and finding it, training, practising and bringing a vision into reality.

However, I would be lying to myself and everyone else, if I didn’t say that everything comes at a price, as well as for a reason. The price is that I became a different person through this process and everyone around me has to get used to the new me. It is the hardest for my family, as they have lived with a different mummy and wife for 15-20 years before. Of course every change takes getting used to, but this one was quite drastic- from a quiet house wife and mum, to a healer in the public eye. Truth be told, not everyone is going to accept my transformation. That is something that I have to come to terms with.

One thing is for sure, my life will never be the same, or for the people around me. So, here’s to a new year and a new decade of love, balance, understanding and abundance.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year everyone.

Love and blessings,

Angela x.

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