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My last year’s December blog was “2019-a year to remember”. I think that we can all safely say that year 2020 beats it by a mile.

So, what has this year taught me?

I can say that it has taught me for sure to live in the moment.

Life used to be very orderly, planned out, sequential and predictable. In all honesty, it has become simply boring. Everything was about other people, from the nearest and dearest to the wider community. My time and energy were completely spent on thinking about the past, present and future, worrying, stressing, running around and trying to make everyone happy, to meet other peoples’ expectations.

Running around came to a sudden halt at the end of March, when the first lockdown began. I was feeling rebellious, as my healing practice just started to take off properly. I was thriving. So, what good was sitting at home going to do for me or my clients? I had plans for every day and was looking forward to get up and make a difference in someone else’s life.

Well, guess what- I forgot that I need just as much care and attention every day. So, I started going in, listening to my feelings, focusing back on myself, my needs (mind, body and soul). I slowed right down and listened to my body. If it needs rest, I rest, if I’m hungry, I make something nutritious to eat, if I want to be by myself, I go for a walk or read in my room, if I feel like listening to loud music, I create a playlist and blast it from my phone,…

I started evaluating my relationships and distancing from people who I felt took too much of my energy. I went on shamanic retreats, tried all sorts of healing techniques to help my body, mind and soul to heal. After all, what good is a healer if they stop working on healing themselves?

As a result, I feel fulfilled, I look good, I feel strong, I choose what I want to spend my time and energy on, I feel connected, happy, inspired. I have been able to look back and take the lessons out of situations, write them down and apply the wisdom in my life and pass it on to others.

Lockdowns have liberated me, by giving me time to look into my deepest self and embrace it. What I have discovered inside of me is love for myself and everyone else, love for nature and gratitude for each and every moment of my life. I don’t think about what’s gone, nor do I worry about what the future might bring. I just live my life every day, moment by moment and feel grateful for it, whatever it brings my way.

Love and light to all of you, my brothers and sisters,

Angela.

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There is this thing called shadow work. I have been at it for a number of years now. It starts with us acknowledging that we are not perfect and that we have to face our own shadow. Our shadow consists of everything that we don’t like about ourselves and the things that we don’t like about our life. There comes a time when we all need to look ourselves in the mirror (‘Man in the mirror’ by Michael Jackson comes to mind).

So, if it’s something that we don’t want to see, why should we do it anyway? It’s because that is the whole point of our existence- to watch and learn and get better at it, at being human.

The tipping point for me was 6 years ago when my health was in a downward spiral. I had brain fog, chronic pain and was exhausted to the point of blackouts. It was becoming dangerous for me to drive. I had to do something, as I had two children to look after, a house, a garden and I was trying to start a business and have just moved house. So, after going down the conventional route of GP, muscular-skeletal specialists, MRI scan, etc., I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Discus Hernia. Because I didn’t want to take pain killers, I was left with doing hydro therapy. That was really pleasant for the moment when I was in warm water. The moment that I came out, everything would start to get on top of me again.

So, an alternative therapist and a close friend of mine, Kim, recommended this amazing chiropractor and a healer, Rene. I knew about chiropractors, but what was a healer? Before I could see him, I had to write my life story- put every significant event in my life in an email to him. As I sat down and tried to recall everything good and bad, many emotions came up for me to deal with. At one point, I asked myself: ‘Why is it that these people and situations still have an impact on me? They are all just a memory now.’ That helped me create a distance between myself and my emotionally charged memories. That was a turning point in my life and a beginning of self healing.

What followed was a series of healing sessions with crystals, energy healing and chiropractice. A whole new world opened up to me and I have been ever since living on daily reading, watching videos, doing courses, having endless discussions, meditating, meeting more likeminded people, opening up a healing practice and doing the healing for others, as well as for myself.

Now, 6 years later, I am still dealing with my shadow, but it has less power over me, it’s layers are thinning and it’s existence is fading away. I know that shadow work never ends, but it allows us to become free, to become who we really are meant to be in this life (as my dear friend, Dee, says).

So, it is up to each end every one of us to decide whether we want to do the shadow work/self discovery or not. But one thing is for sure- nobody else can do it for us.

Love and light,

Angela.

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