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Denial and projection

Dear people,

I accept that this isn’t a typical festive subject, but it is one that I have been experiencing all my life. As of today, I have had enough of it.

We all know what denial is and we have all been there. Sometimes it’s hard to face reality, as Justin Bieber would say. But, is denying a solution? And even further, is projecting the blame onto someone or something else a solution?

It is about time that all of us take responsibility for what is going on in our life because we actively create our reality by making choices in every moment of every day. It is truly empowering when we accept that it is up to us to make the change and improve our life.

I accept that it can be very scary to face up to what is if we are in difficult circumstances. Sometimes we get lost in a situation, we get swept up by emotions, get stressed, overwhelmed, anxious or depressed. Sometimes we overthink and get ungrounded and confused. But, if we don’t face up what is, we are in denial. If we then blame others or our circumstances, we are projecting. We can all blame governments for starting a war. But, who are the soldiers? Who makes weapons? Who takes sides and hates on the other?

We can blame energy companies for increasing the prices every year. But who keeps using their services?

We can say that we were born in the wrong country, or at the wrong time, or into the wrong family. But who keeps us there? What is stopping us from moving out/away?

I have heard that life is happening for us, not to us enough times to believe it. I can see how situations keep repeating themselves if I keep doing the same things. I can see how my default reaction to situations create the repeat emotions and thoughts and then the same reality gets recreated over and over again.

The only way to get ourselves out of the repeating loops is to stop the denial and projection, to face life and then decide what we want to do about it. And, most importantly, to make the changes.

I now see challenges as opportunities to make a change. Life isn’t supposed to be all easy because we would never progress, or make a different choice, meet new people, change a job, travel, move home, and make other life-changing decisions that push us to adapt, change and grow.

As much as I sometimes resist what is inevitable, I know when the time is coming for a change and I eventually surrender to the flow. Otherwise, what we resits it persists and I certainly had enough of that too.

Accept what life brings your way and accept that you have called it in, one way or another.

I am wishing everyone a festive season and a fabulous and fulfilling new year,

Angela x.

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One year older (and hopefully wiser)

2022 has been a very dynamic year, full of travels, changes, endings. We were given the freedom of movement back and off I went to: Peru, Serbia, Italy and Macedonia. I have been invited to visit some other locations too, but have decided to draw the line under four air travels abroad. Although, this month has not finished yet :), so watch this space.

There have been three major changes in my life this year: full-on menopause, my eldest child moving away and becoming a self-sufficient student and me embarking on a counselling course.

Menopause has been talked about more than ever before this year, mainly because people in the public eye have decided to speak openly about their personal experiences. I asked my mum how she went through it and got a usual reply of: “I had no time to think about menopause when I was going through it”. To be fair, she had just started her own business back then in a small town that has been ruled by men since time infinite. She has been so successful in doing it that it has become a legacy that has been passed onto a younger generation and is still going strong.

My menopause feels very emotional, there are numerous physical symptoms (tightness in hip area, migraines, restless sleep, excessive hair loss, to name just a few) and the physical and emotional changes play on one’s mind. So, it has been a God-sent to start a new course and explore an area of interest- Humanistic Psychology.

It is a fascinating and hugely applicable subject to life. It highlights the humanness behind people’s thoughts, actions and feelings, the importance of unconditional positive regard for ourselves and for other people, of empathy rather than sympathy, of authenticity and of the fact that we can’t save others-we can only be there as a guide until they figure out a solution for their problems themselves.

I won’t talk much about my son leaving home. It’s what he has been dreaming of and it’s the best thing that has ever happened to him, although challenging at times. So, I am a proud and grateful parent that my baby is on the way to achieving his goals and fulfilling his dreams.

So, what have been the lessons of 2022? Well, I am happy to say that because we are free to travel yet again, I have realised that change is inevitable and it doesn’t always have to be for the worse. Life does go on, no matter what happens. It’s about how we deal with what happens that matters. Accepting responsibility for our own wellbeing and for making the necessary changes for ourselves, accepting what is, adapting to situations, being patient, pragmatic but also realising where we are in all of that, how it makes us feel. Checking in with oneself daily, even many times a day as needed until we are fully conscious of how we feel in any given moment. That is a sacred place to be. That gives us our power back. That enables us to look after ourselves the way we need to be looked after, addressing our needs and wants, to accept and love ourselves unconditionally. Because, it all starts from us, from how we think and feel about ourselves.

My Christmas message for everyone is: love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

Merry Christmas and an amazing New Year from my heart to you.

Love you all beautiful souls xxx.

 

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Shadow work

There is this thing called shadow work. I have been at it for a number of years now. It starts with us acknowledging that we are not perfect and that we have to face our own shadow. Our shadow consists of everything that we don’t like about ourselves and the things that we don’t like about our life. There comes a time when we all need to look ourselves in the mirror (‘Man in the mirror’ by Michael Jackson comes to mind).

So, if it’s something that we don’t want to see, why should we do it anyway? It’s because that is the whole point of our existence- to watch and learn and get better at it, at being human.

The tipping point for me was 6 years ago when my health was in a downward spiral. I had brain fog, chronic pain and was exhausted to the point of blackouts. It was becoming dangerous for me to drive. I had to do something, as I had two children to look after, a house, a garden and I was trying to start a business and have just moved house. So, after going down the conventional route of GP, muscular-skeletal specialists, MRI scan, etc., I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Discus Hernia. Because I didn’t want to take pain killers, I was left with doing hydro therapy. That was really pleasant for the moment when I was in warm water. The moment that I came out, everything would start to get on top of me again.

So, an alternative therapist and a close friend of mine, Kim, recommended this amazing chiropractor and a healer, Rene. I knew about chiropractors, but what was a healer? Before I could see him, I had to write my life story- put every significant event in my life in an email to him. As I sat down and tried to recall everything good and bad, many emotions came up for me to deal with. At one point, I asked myself: ‘Why is it that these people and situations still have an impact on me? They are all just a memory now.’ That helped me create a distance between myself and my emotionally charged memories. That was a turning point in my life and a beginning of self healing.

What followed was a series of healing sessions with crystals, energy healing and chiropractice. A whole new world opened up to me and I have been ever since living on daily reading, watching videos, doing courses, having endless discussions, meditating, meeting more likeminded people, opening up a healing practice and doing the healing for others, as well as for myself.

Now, 6 years later, I am still dealing with my shadow, but it has less power over me, it’s layers are thinning and it’s existence is fading away. I know that shadow work never ends, but it allows us to become free, to become who we really are meant to be in this life (as my dear friend, Dee, says).

So, it is up to each end every one of us to decide whether we want to do the shadow work/self discovery or not. But one thing is for sure- nobody else can do it for us.

Love and light,

Angela.

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Opening our heart to love

We all know in a physical sense what and where our heart is.

But, in a spiritual sense, we have two hearts- our main Heart Chakra and a Higher heart Chakra. Our Heart chakra is our main life energy entry point, that energetically feeds our whole aura.

Our Higher Heart chakra is located just behind our breast bone, above our Heart chakra. It is the seat of our soul!

Therefore, in an energetic sense, when we are ready to open our heart, it needs to be heart and soul. Otherwise, our feeling is ‘half hearted’.

So, how do we open our hearts to love?

I can only talk from my personal experience and here it goes:

It takes faith, strength, trust, conscious effort and A LOT of clearing (past hurt, pain and heart break).

Once we’ve decided that we want to FEEL again, we have to surrender to God’s/Source’s/Universe’s will to guide us through the necessary process of facing up to all of our past hurt and pain. Remember the Yin and the Yang, the good with the bad, no pain-no gain. Well, it very well applies to love too.

We cannot love if we keep our pain buried deep within our heart and soul, or if we have shut the whole thing down. There are no two ways about it- our pain has to be faced one last time, in order to be released forever.

Pain comes into our life to teach us a lesson, however big or small. By facing it, we accept that it was there, what it has taught us (so that we don’t allow ourselves to get into the same situation) and that it is time that it goes away, as it has served it’s purpose.

Do whatever it takes, in order to release the pain- exercise, sing, dance, write, draw, go for walks, meditate, talk to friends, listen to music, a.s.o. Whatever works for you to feel better, do it. And that is the key:

DO WHATEVER FEELS GOOD.

The more that you release, the better you feel, the more that you open up your heart and let more of the good in. Step by step, you come to the point of completely loving and accepting yourself and everyone around you.

It might seem like a lot of work, but it is definitely worth it.

Just imagine the feeling of joy, happiness, fulfilment, wholeness, calm being an every day part of you.

It is a state of bliss that you never want to leave. That is enlightenment. That is the only way forward, beautiful souls.

Lots of love,

Angela x.

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