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What does it mean to self-care? What does it involve? How do we make it an integral part of our every day routine? Do we have a self-care routine to begin with?

It could be my age and my changing circumstances that are making me think about myself more. Whatever it is, I am beginning to notice signs of stress on my body, my mind, my emotional state and my very soul. It is time to take good care of myself, as well as of the people in my life.

I have heard people say that they have a daily routine for themselves, which includes anything from meditation, exercise, singing, dancing, breath work, reading, writing, cooking, and many other things that help them ground, balance, calm down and get back into their optimum centred state.

It is a fact that our physical body changes as we gain years and count birthdays. Menopause has changed me profoundly and I am accepting that my body is in charge. It is asking me to take breaks during the day, to eat regularly, to take supplements, to meditate daily, to pay attention to my breathing, to take regular walks in fresh air, to reach out if I need support, to pace myself, to appreciate good days, good moments, to learn from life’s challenges, to keep surrendering and accepting the things that I can’t change, to appreciate and enjoy the beauty of life, to recognise blessings in the smallest things, to express how I feel freely, to check in with myself all the time, to acknowledge how I feel, to seek pleasure and so many more things.

So, I have decided to create my self-care daily routine. So far, it consists of: having three meals a day, having fresh fruit and/or vegetables daily, meditating, breathing mindfully, going for a walk, having meaningful conversations, taking small breaks when I need to, cooking, listening to music, singing and on a good day dancing. As of recently, I have been introducing a few exercises that I want to expand on. My gym membership isn’t being utilised. I have my reasons to as why, but am aware that paying for it and not using it isn’t going to last much longer. I will decide soon enough wether I am going to use the facilities or cancel it altogether.

Taking care of our needs, listening to our feelings, maintaining and improving our health, doing things that make us happy, but also allowing ourselves to just be. Constant doing is going to wear us out, so let’s take a moment to breathe, to feel the air filling up our body and sending waves of calm through our nervous system. Let’s feel the sun on our skin, notice what nature looks like around us, let’s count our blessings, feel grateful, let’s smile more, allow ourselves to drop into our Heart centre and feel everything. Let us send love out into the world. Let us send thoughts and wishes for peace in the world. Let’s care about ourselves and about each other. Because, caring is sharing. When we look after ourself, we have the love, the patience and the energy to give to the world too.

Be gentle with yourselves, take care and spread the love.

Much love to everyone,

Angela x

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Dear ones,

I have written about shadow work before, but working on self is never done (I don’t mean to sound discouraging). It is a fact of life that we are shaped by our experiences, be it day to day or on going things. Therefore, it is just as important to develop spiritual and emotional hygiene, as much as cleaning our bodies. Because, everything gets stored inside, whether it’s a thought, a feeling or food and water that we take in. It’s all going to mix up inside of us and change us. So, the question is: How do I clean myself of the thoughts and feeling that don’t do me any good?

Healing or emotional/spiritual/mental cleansing requires patience. It takes time. We need to allow ourselves to feel, to accept how we feel, to let ourselves surrender to the pain and the memories. By surrender, I mean accept the fact of how something made us feel. Because running from pain doesn’t work.

Something that I can’t quite figure out is why have we (humans) developed this defence mechanism of trying to stop the pain? Even the saying says:”No pain, no gain”. It’s true. We cannot get through something, unless we go through it. Not around it, not over it, but through it. One last time, so that we can put it behind. For good.

Being a highly sensitive empath and a healer, I have had countless conversations with myself and others about the ways of dealing with pain (by pain I refer to negative emotions that cause that feeling). First of all, we have to forget about the culture of treating symptoms or numbing pain (whether it’s medication, sex, alcohol, denial, a.s.o.). What is needed is therapy, or finding a way that helps you (deal with negative emotions). There is so much on offer nowadays: hydrotherapy, hypnosis, polarity, reiki, energy healing, crystal healing, counselling, talking therapy, kinesiology, meditation, exercise, and so many others. The key is to keep trying different modalities or ways of healing until we get somewhere. Whatever makes you feel better for doing it. It takes courage and trying new things, but how would you change things otherwise? Eckhart Tolle said that it is insanity to keep doing the same things and expecting a different result!

On a personal level, I have properly started my healing journey in 2011, after being diagnosed with Discus Hernia and Fibromyalgia. I was in chronic pain, depressed and completely exhausted. After refusing to go down the conventional medical route of taking medication to numb the pain, I had to find alternative/holistic ways of healing/therapy. Holistic medicine means that it treats a person as a whole, not just a certain part of it ( be it a body part or say mental health). That is why it takes time to properly heal and get through something. You cannot expect a person to walk pain free if they have broken a leg. It takes at least three weeks for a bone to heal and for the pain to ease. Why don’t we, then, treat emotional and mental pain and injury the same? It is overdue that we take responsibility for our wellbeing and change that. Take time to heal, to recover, search for ways of helping yourself, make changes, make better choices and you will see results for the better. I promise.

Love, service, light and wisdom,

Angela.

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My last year’s December blog was “2019-a year to remember”. I think that we can all safely say that year 2020 beats it by a mile.

So, what has this year taught me?

I can say that it has taught me for sure to live in the moment.

Life used to be very orderly, planned out, sequential and predictable. In all honesty, it has become simply boring. Everything was about other people, from the nearest and dearest to the wider community. My time and energy were completely spent on thinking about the past, present and future, worrying, stressing, running around and trying to make everyone happy, to meet other peoples’ expectations.

Running around came to a sudden halt at the end of March, when the first lockdown began. I was feeling rebellious, as my healing practice just started to take off properly. I was thriving. So, what good was sitting at home going to do for me or my clients? I had plans for every day and was looking forward to get up and make a difference in someone else’s life.

Well, guess what- I forgot that I need just as much care and attention every day. So, I started going in, listening to my feelings, focusing back on myself, my needs (mind, body and soul). I slowed right down and listened to my body. If it needs rest, I rest, if I’m hungry, I make something nutritious to eat, if I want to be by myself, I go for a walk or read in my room, if I feel like listening to loud music, I create a playlist and blast it from my phone,…

I started evaluating my relationships and distancing from people who I felt took too much of my energy. I went on shamanic retreats, tried all sorts of healing techniques to help my body, mind and soul to heal. After all, what good is a healer if they stop working on healing themselves?

As a result, I feel fulfilled, I look good, I feel strong, I choose what I want to spend my time and energy on, I feel connected, happy, inspired. I have been able to look back and take the lessons out of situations, write them down and apply the wisdom in my life and pass it on to others.

Lockdowns have liberated me, by giving me time to look into my deepest self and embrace it. What I have discovered inside of me is love for myself and everyone else, love for nature and gratitude for each and every moment of my life. I don’t think about what’s gone, nor do I worry about what the future might bring. I just live my life every day, moment by moment and feel grateful for it, whatever it brings my way.

Love and light to all of you, my brothers and sisters,

Angela.

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There is this thing called shadow work. I have been at it for a number of years now. It starts with us acknowledging that we are not perfect and that we have to face our own shadow. Our shadow consists of everything that we don’t like about ourselves and the things that we don’t like about our life. There comes a time when we all need to look ourselves in the mirror (‘Man in the mirror’ by Michael Jackson comes to mind).

So, if it’s something that we don’t want to see, why should we do it anyway? It’s because that is the whole point of our existence- to watch and learn and get better at it, at being human.

The tipping point for me was 6 years ago when my health was in a downward spiral. I had brain fog, chronic pain and was exhausted to the point of blackouts. It was becoming dangerous for me to drive. I had to do something, as I had two children to look after, a house, a garden and I was trying to start a business and have just moved house. So, after going down the conventional route of GP, muscular-skeletal specialists, MRI scan, etc., I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Discus Hernia. Because I didn’t want to take pain killers, I was left with doing hydro therapy. That was really pleasant for the moment when I was in warm water. The moment that I came out, everything would start to get on top of me again.

So, an alternative therapist and a close friend of mine, Kim, recommended this amazing chiropractor and a healer, Rene. I knew about chiropractors, but what was a healer? Before I could see him, I had to write my life story- put every significant event in my life in an email to him. As I sat down and tried to recall everything good and bad, many emotions came up for me to deal with. At one point, I asked myself: ‘Why is it that these people and situations still have an impact on me? They are all just a memory now.’ That helped me create a distance between myself and my emotionally charged memories. That was a turning point in my life and a beginning of self healing.

What followed was a series of healing sessions with crystals, energy healing and chiropractice. A whole new world opened up to me and I have been ever since living on daily reading, watching videos, doing courses, having endless discussions, meditating, meeting more likeminded people, opening up a healing practice and doing the healing for others, as well as for myself.

Now, 6 years later, I am still dealing with my shadow, but it has less power over me, it’s layers are thinning and it’s existence is fading away. I know that shadow work never ends, but it allows us to become free, to become who we really are meant to be in this life (as my dear friend, Dee, says).

So, it is up to each end every one of us to decide whether we want to do the shadow work/self discovery or not. But one thing is for sure- nobody else can do it for us.

Love and light,

Angela.

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