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2022 has been a very dynamic year, full of travels, changes, endings. We were given the freedom of movement back and off I went to: Peru, Serbia, Italy and Macedonia. I have been invited to visit some other locations too, but have decided to draw the line under four air travels abroad. Although, this month has not finished yet :), so watch this space.

There have been three major changes in my life this year: full-on menopause, my eldest child moving away and becoming a self-sufficient student and me embarking on a counselling course.

Menopause has been talked about more than ever before this year, mainly because people in the public eye have decided to speak openly about their personal experiences. I asked my mum how she went through it and got a usual reply of: “I had no time to think about menopause when I was going through it”. To be fair, she had just started her own business back then in a small town that has been ruled by men since time infinite. She has been so successful in doing it that it has become a legacy that has been passed onto a younger generation and is still going strong.

My menopause feels very emotional, there are numerous physical symptoms (tightness in hip area, migraines, restless sleep, excessive hair loss, to name just a few) and the physical and emotional changes play on one’s mind. So, it has been a God-sent to start a new course and explore an area of interest- Humanistic Psychology.

It is a fascinating and hugely applicable subject to life. It highlights the humanness behind people’s thoughts, actions and feelings, the importance of unconditional positive regard for ourselves and for other people, of empathy rather than sympathy, of authenticity and of the fact that we can’t save others-we can only be there as a guide until they figure out a solution for their problems themselves.

I won’t talk much about my son leaving home. It’s what he has been dreaming of and it’s the best thing that has ever happened to him, although challenging at times. So, I am a proud and grateful parent that my baby is on the way to achieving his goals and fulfilling his dreams.

So, what have been the lessons of 2022? Well, I am happy to say that because we are free to travel yet again, I have realised that change is inevitable and it doesn’t always have to be for the worse. Life does go on, no matter what happens. It’s about how we deal with what happens that matters. Accepting responsibility for our own wellbeing and for making the necessary changes for ourselves, accepting what is, adapting to situations, being patient, pragmatic but also realising where we are in all of that, how it makes us feel. Checking in with oneself daily, even many times a day as needed until we are fully conscious of how we feel in any given moment. That is a sacred place to be. That gives us our power back. That enables us to look after ourselves the way we need to be looked after, addressing our needs and wants, to accept and love ourselves unconditionally. Because, it all starts from us, from how we think and feel about ourselves.

My Christmas message for everyone is: love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

Merry Christmas and an amazing New Year from my heart to you.

Love you all beautiful souls xxx.

 

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I am prone to over thinking and stress. It has always been my downfall.

Today I had a school run in the morning, as usual (my daily routine since 2007), but what stressed me out was my car engine over heating. I have been driving for 20 years and never had I to face a possibility of being left on the road due to engine blow up. So, I was driving at snail’s pace (credit to my daughter who didn’t complain about my speed for once) in order to avoid the disaster. We were both watching the thermometer on my dashboard like a hawk the whole way (just under an hour’s drive one way). I did the same on my way home.

As soon as I dropped her off at school, I called the car service department. The man was asking me questions to which I had no clear answers. I could sense frustration in his voice, but he booked me in for the next day for service at my insistence. I was left wondering why do I have to convince anyone of what my car is indicating, as a faultless driver of two decades? I have driven various cars of better and less good quality and this is the first instance of such situation.

I admit that some people might think that I am over reacting to my situation. But to someone feeling stress, it is all too real. At one point I was feeling anxiety.

The man on the radio was talking about adults showing the way to children through their behaviour. And there I was taking things badly in front of my daughter. That made me think.

So, how do we let go of those feelings of stress, worry and frustration regardless of the severity of our situation?

I always resort to prayer. It is my daily routine and in stressful situations I pray even more. Also crystals (particularly Black Tourmaline), meditation, a walk in nature, journalling and taking time off (if at all possible).

Learning to deal with stress is a process. It takes patience with oneself, time and discipline. Being patient with ourselves is something that should really be emphasised when we are working on changing anything in our life, but particularly when we are trying to change our thinking habits and patterns. Rome wasn’t built in a day and we shouldn’t put ourselves under even more pressure to change quickly. It backfires with vengeance. Instead, we have to go within and face our true feelings. All feelings are there to be experienced, but the secret to a healthy mind is to learn to let the damaging feelings go. For some reason, our human nature is to cling onto the familiar things and keep repeating them. In this case it is a recipe for self destruction. It is no wonder that the great sages, gurus and other spiritual leaders dedicate their whole life to self mastery. It doesn’t mean that they are the chosen ones. It means that they have chosen to use all of their time to master their thoughts and feelings. Only then can they become spiritual leaders and help guide others to do the same.

What I am trying to say is that anyone can become a master of their feelings and thoughts if they want to. It is the self sabotaging, weak and small part in us that keeps tellings us that something is impossible. The truth is that there always is a choice in any matter on how we respond and how we deal with the situation. But we have to believe that. We have to train our mind to believe that anything is possible and that we will find the way forward.

Trust me, I know that it is easier said than done, but it is possible. Start by taking the small steps, by trying to change just one thing at the time that you know does you no good. Even if it takes years (like in my case still learning to manage stress at 46). Just don’t give up on yourself. Every change that we make inspires someone else to do the same. Trust me. So, even if your motivation is to do it for others, just do it. That’s all that matters. Taking accountability for our shortfalls and making the change. That’s what we’re here for my friends.

 

Love and light,

Angela.

 

 

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Just to be clear, patience isn’t my favourite subject.

People think that I am very patient. But am I, or is it being laid back, detached, secretly hoping that something will change? Is it me waiting for a miracle?

I like to think of patience as a great teacher. There’s certainly no argument that can win against it. If it’s time for a pause, a break, a rest, a re-think, if it’s too soon for something to happen, all we can do is surrender.

However, it really isn’t easy to surrender every time. The Universe is saying:”Not now. Not yet” and all we want to know and can think of is :”When?” for goodness sake.

So, how does nature do it, the plants, the animals, the seasons patiently waiting for their turn to shine?

Because, every time that we show impatience, it slows things down even more. The Sun doesn’t say to the Moon: “Get out of the way! It’s my turn to shine!” Roses wait patiently for the daffodils and the bluebells to finish flowering, so that they can grace us with their scented beauty. Or do they?

Isn’t waiting a non-existing concept in nature, apart from us, humans? We feel that, if we can get something right now, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t. After all, there is so much more that we want, so let’s get onto the next thing. And the next. And the next. And we’re still unhappy and still waiting for the next wish to come true.

That is how we’re wasting our precious life, dear friends.

God created patience for us, because we would ,otherwise have destroyed everything in our way very quickly. We just don’t know how to let something unravel naturally, on it’s own, when it’s ready. Instead of when we want it to happen, why can’t we just say:”Let it be.” Probably because our Ego says that we need it now, we deserve it and we come first. Right? However, imagine what would happen if we got everything that we ever wanted right away? Would it really be the best thing in the world? That is up to you to decide. But, remember, that life is what actually happens while we’re waiting for the next thing. Because, “Time and tide wait for no man”. So, LIVE your life and be ready for it’s wonderful surprises. That’s when you won’t need to use patience any more.

With love and blessings,

Angela.

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