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Dear ones,

I have written about shadow work before, but working on self is never done (I don’t mean to sound discouraging). It is a fact of life that we are shaped by our experiences, be it day to day or on going things. Therefore, it is just as important to develop spiritual and emotional hygiene, as much as cleaning our bodies. Because, everything gets stored inside, whether it’s a thought, a feeling or food and water that we take in. It’s all going to mix up inside of us and change us. So, the question is: How do I clean myself of the thoughts and feeling that don’t do me any good?

Healing or emotional/spiritual/mental cleansing requires patience. It takes time. We need to allow ourselves to feel, to accept how we feel, to let ourselves surrender to the pain and the memories. By surrender, I mean accept the fact of how something made us feel. Because running from pain doesn’t work.

Something that I can’t quite figure out is why have we (humans) developed this defence mechanism of trying to stop the pain? Even the saying says:”No pain, no gain”. It’s true. We cannot get through something, unless we go through it. Not around it, not over it, but through it. One last time, so that we can put it behind. For good.

Being a highly sensitive empath and a healer, I have had countless conversations with myself and others about the ways of dealing with pain (by pain I refer to negative emotions that cause that feeling). First of all, we have to forget about the culture of treating symptoms or numbing pain (whether it’s medication, sex, alcohol, denial, a.s.o.). What is needed is therapy, or finding a way that helps you (deal with negative emotions). There is so much on offer nowadays: hydrotherapy, hypnosis, polarity, reiki, energy healing, crystal healing, counselling, talking therapy, kinesiology, meditation, exercise, and so many others. The key is to keep trying different modalities or ways of healing until we get somewhere. Whatever makes you feel better for doing it. It takes courage and trying new things, but how would you change things otherwise? Eckhart Tolle said that it is insanity to keep doing the same things and expecting a different result!

On a personal level, I have properly started my healing journey in 2011, after being diagnosed with Discus Hernia and Fibromyalgia. I was in chronic pain, depressed and completely exhausted. After refusing to go down the conventional medical route of taking medication to numb the pain, I had to find alternative/holistic ways of healing/therapy. Holistic medicine means that it treats a person as a whole, not just a certain part of it ( be it a body part or say mental health). That is why it takes time to properly heal and get through something. You cannot accept a person to walk pain free if they have broken a leg. It takes at least three weeks for a bone to heal and for the pain to ease. Why don’t we, then, treat emotional and mental pain and injury the same? It is overdue that we take responsibility for our wellbeing and change that. Take time to heal, to recover, search for ways of helping yourself, make changes, make better choices and you will see results for the better. I promise.

Love, service, light and wisdom,

Angela.

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I am prone to over thinking and stress. It has always been my downfall.

Today I had a school run in the morning, as usual (my daily routine since 2007), but what stressed me out was my car engine over heating. I have been driving for 20 years and never had I to face a possibility of being left on the road due to engine blow up. So, I was driving at snail’s pace (credit to my daughter who didn’t complain about my speed for once) in order to avoid the disaster. We were both watching the thermometer on my dashboard like a hawk the whole way (just under an hour’s drive one way). I did the same on my way home.

As soon as I dropped her off at school, I called the car service department. The man was asking me questions to which I had no clear answers. I could sense frustration in his voice, but he booked me in for the next day for service at my insistence. I was left wondering why do I have to convince anyone of what my car is indicating, as a faultless driver of two decades? I have driven various cars of better and less good quality and this is the first instance of such situation.

I admit that some people might think that I am over reacting to my situation. But to someone feeling stress, it is all too real. At one point I was feeling anxiety.

The man on the radio was talking about adults showing the way to children through their behaviour. And there I was taking things badly in front of my daughter. That made me think.

So, how do we let go of those feelings of stress, worry and frustration regardless of the severity of our situation?

I always resort to prayer. It is my daily routine and in stressful situations I pray even more. Also crystals (particularly Black Tourmaline), meditation, a walk in nature, journalling and taking time off (if at all possible).

Learning to deal with stress is a process. It takes patience with oneself, time and discipline. Being patient with ourselves is something that should really be emphasised when we are working on changing anything in our life, but particularly when we are trying to change our thinking habits and patterns. Rome wasn’t built in a day and we shouldn’t put ourselves under even more pressure to change quickly. It backfires with vengeance. Instead, we have to go within and face our true feelings. All feelings are there to be experienced, but the secret to a healthy mind is to learn to let the damaging feelings go. For some reason, our human nature is to cling onto the familiar things and keep repeating them. In this case it is a recipe for self destruction. It is no wonder that the great sages, gurus and other spiritual leaders dedicate their whole life to self mastery. It doesn’t mean that they are the chosen ones. It means that they have chosen to use all of their time to master their thoughts and feelings. Only then can they become spiritual leaders and help guide others to do the same.

What I am trying to say is that anyone can become a master of their feelings and thoughts if they want to. It is the self sabotaging, weak and small part in us that keeps tellings us that something is impossible. The truth is that there always is a choice in any matter on how we respond and how we deal with the situation. But we have to believe that. We have to train our mind to believe that anything is possible and that we will find the way forward.

Trust me, I know that it is easier said than done, but it is possible. Start by taking the small steps, by trying to change just one thing at the time that you know does you no good. Even if it takes years (like in my case still learning to manage stress at 46). Just don’t give up on yourself. Every change that we make inspires someone else to do the same. Trust me. So, even if your motivation is to do it for others, just do it. That’s all that matters. Taking accountability for our shortfalls and making the change. That’s what we’re here for my friends.

 

Love and light,

Angela.

 

 

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This is something that I have been doing all my life. Now I feel that it is time to check in with myself and assess this life long belief.

Believing that all people are good at their very essence has been repeatedly challenged throughout my life. However, being a lover of people and believer that we are all one and essentially the same, I have been sticking to it. I have been projecting my traits onto everyone I ever met, whether I knew them or not. My trust was granted.

There have been endless occasions when people proved me wrong and hurt me out of their selfishness. But I kept on believing and getting hurt.

Well, this time was different. Although I had my doubts, I went along with their story. I wanted to believe them. I wanted their story to be true. Personal boundaries went out of the window, promises were being broken, I was getting more and more hurt. And I still stuck to it, giving more and more chances and being let down every time. Until I hit a brick wall.

It was a scam. It was a betrayal. It was all a lie.

And I allowed it to happen. I let people fool me. I pretend not to see through their games. I let things slide. And it becomes the relationship dynamics.

Just to be clear, there are absolutely NO exceptions in the type of a relationship; be it between parents and children, lovers or friends. The basis is the same- it is in human nature to cross boundaries if it is allowed. Or, at least that is my experience.

Therefore, I really have to look the truth in the eye and admit that I have done it to myself again. And, am I going to finally learn this lesson at my middle age? I feel that all of my guides in spirit are screaming at me to listen to my gut and learn from the self inflicted pain. For the last time, people do what they are allowed to do. They treat us the way that we allow them to treat us. They give as much as we ask from them. People are human and human nature is flawed.

So, here we are staring the truth in the eye and accepting things as they are. It’s a significant part of living a conscious life, of living in the present moment, of accepting things as they are and not as they appear to be.

My advice to myself would be to accept what is and see where that leaves me. How does that make me feel? Do I want to carry on with that situation or is it time to move on?

The choice is always ours to make.

Love and light,

Angela x.

 

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