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This is something that I have been doing all my life. Now I feel that it is time to check in with myself and assess this life long belief.

Believing that all people are good at their very essence has been repeatedly challenged throughout my life. However, being a lover of people and believer that we are all one and essentially the same, I have been sticking to it. I have been projecting my traits onto everyone I ever met, whether I knew them or not. My trust was granted.

There have been endless occasions when people proved me wrong and hurt me out of their selfishness. But I kept on believing and getting hurt.

Well, this time was different. Although I had my doubts, I went along with their story. I wanted to believe them. I wanted their story to be true. Personal boundaries went out of the window, promises were being broken, I was getting more and more hurt. And I still stuck to it, giving more and more chances and being let down every time. Until I hit a brick wall.

It was a scam. It was a betrayal. It was all a lie.

And I allowed it to happen. I let people fool me. I pretend not to see through their games. I let things slide. And it becomes the relationship dynamics.

Just to be clear, there are absolutely NO exceptions in the type of a relationship; be it between parents and children, lovers or friends. The basis is the same- it is in human nature to cross boundaries if it is allowed. Or, at least that is my experience.

Therefore, I really have to look the truth in the eye and admit that I have done it to myself again. And, am I going to finally learn this lesson at my middle age? I feel that all of my guides in spirit are screaming at me to listen to my gut and learn from the self inflicted pain. For the last time, people do what they are allowed to do. They treat us the way that we allow them to treat us. They give as much as we ask from them. People are human and human nature is flawed.

So, here we are staring the truth in the eye and accepting things as they are. It’s a significant part of living a conscious life, of living in the present moment, of accepting things as they are and not as they appear to be.

My advice to myself would be to accept what is and see where that leaves me. How does that make me feel? Do I want to carry on with that situation or is it time to move on?

The choice is always ours to make.

Love and light,

Angela x.

 

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This is a slight diversion from my initial idea about this month’s blog. It is closely related to it, though.

Recently, going through my own self discovery and through the work with my clients, something struck me as odd. Why is it that we find listening to our body so alien? It should be the most natural thing to everyone. But it isn’t, at least not in case when you’re an adult.

This leads me to the topic of being our true, authentic self. How can you be yourself, if you don’t know who you are?! How can you know what you need if you’re disconnected from yourself?!

Well, there is no time like the present to find that out. Start wherever you are and ask yourself: “What do I feel like doing right now?” , or “How am I feeling at this moment?” They can be the simplest questions that you can think of to yourself about yourself.

Journalling really has been my go to number 1 in self understanding. My healing journey started when I wrote down my life history in terms of what impacted me as a person the most throughout my life. Since, I have been writing down my thoughts, feelings, events that have happened more recently, as well as revelations about myself and relationships in my life.

I have to admit that I wasn’t my real self in the past either. Most of my life I have been desperately trying to fit into the environment that I was in, painting a picture of who I thought people around me wanted me to be. It was stressful, it was painful and it didn’t work. It made me ill and depressed.

Dear fellow human beings, please consider coming out of your shells, your hiding places and start revealing who you truly are. Start by doing it on your own, for yourself. It isn’t about anyone else after all, or for anyone else. Do it for you, discover yourself, get to know your thoughts, feelings, wants, desires, hobbies, food preferences, how you like to use your time and energy. Focus on you for a change. I cannot emphasise this enough. Discover who you are and then be it. Otherwise, you will never be truly happy or free.

We are born free and should die free as well. But, the job of freeing ourselves from all of the conditioning falls down on us. Only we can make that decision and make it happen. And so we should, as a divine reflection in human form, starseed beings, free spirits, indestructible souls.

We are all energy and energy cannot be contained, it cannot be stopped. It’s very nature is to flow at it’s own pace, wherever it is drawn to go. I can feel it, the everlasting flow that is us, that flows through us since the universe was created and forever more. We are IT. We are the life force searching for it’s true self through space and time. And I wish for you all to find that, to find yourselves soon. So, join the flow tribe. I will meet you there.

With love and light,

Angela.

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