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Breaking free from illusions

It has been a while since I’ve written a blog. This quarantine has turned my whole world upside down. Perhaps I needed a fresh perspective on life?

Anyhow, I have been doing a lot of internal reflecting during the past 8 weeks, even more than usual. I went deep into my feelings, my relationships, work, past present and future lives. In a word, I overdid it. You can look at it as, I had to do it one last time, before deciding to focus on the here and now.

I’ve always escaped into my own world, whenever things got tough or were challenging my modus operandi. In the past I would physically walk away. So, this is a step forward- I was physically present, but absent in my mind. Because of the lack of interaction with people and not having to rush around all the time, I was daydreaming most of the time. It was a perfect state of being for someone who never had enough uninterrupted time to let their thoughts loose.

However, I noticed that, by doing that, I was being at odds with my current situation. My children noticed my mental distance, I wasn’t doing anything productive in my life and I didn’t want to engage in the new norm. I tried to escape the fact that nothing is certain any more, that I am not comfortable with the unknown, that I have to put my money where my mouth is and prove my trust in the Universe. As a spiritual person, I should be able to surrender to the Higher Guidance and let it guide me. So, why do I feel threatened by the uncertainty on the face of it? Shouldn’t I know better and trust that there is a grand scheme of things and that we are all looked after at every moment of our existence? I was lead astray by fear and the abundance of my own imagination.

I will tell you what brought me back- genuine love and concern from people close to me and my body feeling exhausted. I spent almost a whole day in bed, feeling cold and shivery, exhausted and realising that I can’t carry on like that. I cannot carry on escaping from the facts of what’s waiting for me to be addressed. Being spiritual means being aware of our responsibilities, accepting them and trusting that we will be guided towards a solution. All we need to do is ask and it will be given. And, yes, trust that it will.

In love and light,

Angela.

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Transcending our physical body

Please don’t be scarred by the title. As a spiritual being, I want to focus on looking past my physical body. I am hoping that would also give me a bit of a relief from the pain of loosing my friend and mentor very recently.

I have studied the Bible for a decade before even discovering crystals. It keeps saying that we all have a Soul and a Spirit. Jesus has died and resurrected into a life of a spirit, meaning that he left his human body and carried on living elsewhere. That is what I am trying to connect to so hard particularly now, looking, sensing, hoping for a sign that my friend has carried on living where Jesus resides.

On this spiritual quest for enlightenment, we are all meant to merge our soul (that is placed above our crown, in our aura), into our physical body. That merge is called ‘ascension’. It means that we then become a multi dimensional living being. That hasn’t been possible for a very long time for our race (some say since the fall of Atlantis) and now it is, due to the spiritual work that we have done on ourselves.

I believe in reincarnation, partially because I have had spontaneous past life recollections over the years. I keep meeting people that feel familiar. I keep having de ja vue moments. I am have been born with fears that have nothing to do with this life experiences. I have sensed, felt and heard spirits (and know of a lot of others who have experienced the same), and so on.

We are a soul having an Earthly life. We have existed many times before and will carry on existing in other forms in the future. So, why do I feel so bound by my body, my circumstances, my origin, my heritage, my past? A soul should feel happy and free. It is supposed to have a free will. How do we exercise our free will when we have responsibilities towards people, jobs, bills to pay, promises we made? All of that and much more ways us down (education or mind washing, social conditioning, traditional beliefs, upbringing, karma,…).

When you look at the whole picture, that is near an impossible task, given that our memory of any previous life has been deleted. We live in amnesia.

So, why would anyone in their right mind want to come to Earth then? The truth is that we (souls) wanted to experience all of this, so that we can appreciate how good it is up there. We have collected karma that has to be paid off. We get ‘a promotion’ or un upgrade every time we return from Earth. And, ultimately, we want to help out other souls that wouldn’t have been able to finish this task without us and vice versa. Dumb, I know, but it’s the truth. There is nothing like learning from experience that teaches you a lesson or two.

I guess one of my soul lessons was to accept that we are all one and that I would be nothing if I didn’t have the right people around me. That is the lesson that my friend, Rene, taught me. And, I know, that it goes the other way too.

Peace and love my friends.

Angela.

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I’ve hit the ground running

In December, my friend and mentor has gone to the hospital. He is still in there.

My son was also admitted to a hospital last month with a serious injury. Due to his age and good health (and his chosen diet), he came out the same day. He is recovering well.

While I was visiting family last week in Serbia, my father was referred to hospital with Deep Vein Thrombosis. It’s been an ongoing health issue for the last 2-3 years.

So, here I am reflecting on January 2019 when my healing “business” was launched overshadowed with the latest developments.

How does a person split themselves between realities, wishes and possibilities (including timelines and dimensions)? Working with people and always searching for answers, I am discovering that there is SO much more to a human being than the naked eye can see.

What the eye can see is the tip of the iceberg. We have layers of aura around us, our body covers up the intricate internal body system as well as our soul. Our soul connects us to the Divine/God/Source. Our soul is the ever lasting, indestructible energy that keeps on travelling through space and time, collecting experiences and changing form. Our emotions are the world of the own, as is our Ego/rational self.

No wonder it takes us a while to process everything that happens (and a lot does every day). So, we are forever catching up with our mind, body and soul, trying to bring it all together into now/the present moment.

Good luck fellow humans. We’ve got quite a ride ahead of us, before it all comes into balance. First it has to happen within us, in order for it to be around us.

We are co creators of our reality. We are the ones who wanted to experience free will and have never quite grasped the responsibility side of it.

However, the more that we take time to process our thoughts, wishes and emotions, the more we get to understand ourselves and others. The more that we become (by doing the work) conscious of ourselves, the more we consciously choose people, places and circumstances, the more we create our desired reality.

Therefore, I could take the recent events as being a victim of circumstances or as the Universe testing my strength as per my request. These things come at a perfect time for us to show what we’ve learnt and how well we respond (not react) to life’s challenges. And, somewhere along the line, we get rewarded and upgraded to a higher level (of wisdom, strength and consciousness). That’s what the Earth school is all about.

Saying that, I just might choose a different school for my next lifetime. I hope that my next experience is a more enjoyable one. This school has been a bit intense, to say the least.

Stay well and look after yourselves, dear souls.

Love and light,

Angela x.

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2019-a year to remember

Before I can go into the next year and a new decade, I have to take one last look back on the year that made me.

In January 2019, I launched my healing business (domain name, website, a treatment room). It was a dream come true and I was the happiest person alive!

In March I visited the Bosnian pyramids. That trip delivered in bucketloads and more! Healing energy was everywhere: in the air, on the ground and even more so underground. The beauty of the place and it’s people left me wanting to come back every year for the rest of my life. It is the only place that ever truly felt like home.

In May I went to my niece’s wedding in my home country, Serbia. I haven’t been to a wedding for 15 years and I danced all night. The atmosphere of love and happiness filled me up for months to come.

In August we went to an english wedding in Macedonia. That was another magical day, filled with family reunions, music and dance.

On 9th of September, I opened my healing practice in town, joining a vibrant team consisting of: Pilates, Yoga, Pole Dancing, Belly dancing and Feldenkreiss healing technique. Since then, I have been working flat out to make things happen and to balance it with my home life too. I’ve never been a working mum before. Some might say that I had an easy life up to now. There is some truth in it, but I’ve always known that I had more in me, that a higher calling was out there for me to find it. This is it. It’s a culmination of a lifetime of soul searching, reading, learning, thinking, meditating, clearing, reflecting, deep conversations, visions, higher guidance, of looking for a purpose and finding it, training, practising and bringing a vision into reality.

However, I would be lying to myself and everyone else, if I didn’t say that everything comes at a price, as well as for a reason. The price is that I became a different person through this process and everyone around me has to get used to the new me. It is the hardest for my family, as they have lived with a different mummy and wife for 15-20 years before. Of course every change takes getting used to, but this one was quite drastic- from a quiet house wife and mum, to a healer in the public eye. Truth be told, not everyone is going to accept my transformation. That is something that I have to come to terms with.

One thing is for sure, my life will never be the same, or for the people around me. So, here’s to a new year and a new decade of love, balance, understanding and abundance.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year everyone.

Love and blessings,

Angela x.

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Patience

Just to be clear, patience isn’t my favourite subject.

People think that I am very patient. But am I, or is it being laid back, detached, secretly hoping that something will change? Is it me waiting for a miracle?

I like to think of patience as a great teacher. There’s certainly no argument that can win against it. If it’s time for a pause, a break, a rest, a re-think, if it’s too soon for something to happen, all we can do is surrender.

However, it really isn’t easy to surrender every time. The Universe is saying:”Not now. Not yet” and all we want to know and can think of is :”When?” for goodness sake.

So, how does nature do it, the plants, the animals, the seasons patiently waiting for their turn to shine?

Because, every time that we show impatience, it slows things down even more. The Sun doesn’t say to the Moon: “Get out of the way! It’s my turn to shine!” Roses wait patiently for the daffodils and the bluebells to finish flowering, so that they can grace us with their scented beauty. Or do they?

Isn’t waiting a non-existing concept in nature, apart from us, humans? We feel that, if we can get something right now, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t. After all, there is so much more that we want, so let’s get onto the next thing. And the next. And the next. And we’re still unhappy and still waiting for the next wish to come true.

That is how we’re wasting our precious life, dear friends.

God created patience for us, because we would ,otherwise have destroyed everything in our way very quickly. We just don’t know how to let something unravel naturally, on it’s own, when it’s ready. Instead of when we want it to happen, why can’t we just say:”Let it be.” Probably because our Ego says that we need it now, we deserve it and we come first. Right? However, imagine what would happen if we got everything that we ever wanted right away? Would it really be the best thing in the world? That is up to you to decide. But, remember, that life is what actually happens while we’re waiting for the next thing. Because, “Time and tide wait for no man”. So, LIVE your life and be ready for it’s wonderful surprises. That’s when you won’t need to use patience any more.

With love and blessings,

Angela.

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Counting your blessings

This morning, as on most Thursdays, I went to my child’s school cathedral assembly. It was themed or dedicated to the Harvest Thanksgiving.Children walk into the cathedral bearing gifts and we sing a thanksgiving hymn. Then a guest speaker (a founder of the local homeless charity) gave a talk. Since 2016. they haven’t missed a day to walk through the 4 main streets of town, talking to the homeless and giving out food and other essentials.

I was in tears. I felt humbled by her generosity, by her compassion and her dedication to the cause. It reminded me that, in spite of my every day worries and fears, I should be more grateful. Much more than I am.

Scientists say that a feeling of gratefulness actually re-wires our brain into a more positive mindset! You might say that it is only natural to fear for our survival, as it’s a primal emotion. It is deeply embedded into our psyche, into our DNA. However, shouldn’t we also put things into perspective and knowledge that we are here and now, doing just fine? It is thanks to our ancestors who were born survivors like us. It is also thanks to ourselves for doing our best and never giving up hope for the future. Because, homeless have nothing but hope, clinging onto it for food, shelter and an occasional glance and a word spoken to them.

Hope and gratefulness should never leave us. They should always be there to balance things inside of us, so that when fear and worry come creeping in, we can say to them:’No, thank you. I am just fine.’

Some crystals that promote feelings of gratitude and appreciation are: Apatite, Tiger’s Eye, Pink Sapphire and Rose Quartz.

 

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Connecting to our natural flow

We, collectively as human beings, seem to live in an artificially constructed system. As soon as we are born, our days start to be ‘numbered’. We are registered under a name and as having a date and a time of birth. The next entry into the system is when we start pre school. That is when all of our natural cycles end. We can’t sleep when we’re tired. We can’t eat when we’re hungry. We can’t say how we feel when we’re feeling it. We are expected to achieve certain levels of knowledge, in order to be allowed to move up a grade. We have to behave in a certain way, in order to be accepted and deemed as fitting in. We spend a certain number of years in primary school, then secondary school or college. Some go on to university before starting to work.

All of this is expected of us and to fulfil it at a certain time in our life. Otherwise, we ‘fall behind’, we ‘don’t fit in’, we become ‘a failure’ or an ‘outcast’, we are casted out of the norm. I hate labels, but in this case they might illustrate my point.

So, what happens to our feelings, needs and wishes as we grow up? What happens to our natural cycles of feeling happy and showing it, eating when feel hungry, going for a rest when feel tired?

Unless you can survive without making a living, you have to put your feelings and needs aside, and ignore them all until you have a moment for yourself.

Or, at least, that’s what I thought life has to be like for me.

What I’ve recently discovered is that I owe it to myself to re connect to my natural flow. I am not going to ignore how I feel or suppress my hunger or tiredness. It is a human right, in fact every living being’s right to BE THEMSELVES. We tend to our plants’ needs by giving them the right amount of water, sunlight and food, for them to thrive. We look after our pets by giving them the appropriate food, shelter, water, attention, and love, for them to have a happy life.

Therefore, we deserve what we give to everyone and everything else. No more, no less. Just to respect our body when it cannot take any more stress, or to take a moment when we need it, to have a snack when we’re hungry (if we can’t have a proper meal), to pamper ourselves every once in a while, to reach out to family and friends to tell them that we are thinking of them and that we love them.

Otherwise, life passes us by, going through it’s natural cycles of youth, adulthood and old age and we find ourselves looking back one day wondering what was the purpose of our existence.

To me, our purpose is to ‘serve’ our society by making a positive difference as well as tending to our own needs, or going with the flow. Because, if I’m not true to myself, if I’m not listening to my own mind, body and soul, it is just as if I don’t exist at all.

Peace and love to everyone,

Angela.

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Opening our heart to love

We all know in a physical sense what and where our heart is.

But, in a spiritual sense, we have two hearts- our main Heart Chakra and a Higher heart Chakra. Our Heart chakra is our main life energy entry point, that energetically feeds our whole aura.

Our Higher Heart chakra is located just behind our breast bone, above our Heart chakra. It is the seat of our soul!

Therefore, in an energetic sense, when we are ready to open our heart, it needs to be heart and soul. Otherwise, our feeling is ‘half hearted’.

So, how do we open our hearts to love?

I can only talk from my personal experience and here it goes:

It takes faith, strength, trust, conscious effort and A LOT of clearing (past hurt, pain and heart break).

Once we’ve decided that we want to FEEL again, we have to surrender to God’s/Source’s/Universe’s will to guide us through the necessary process of facing up to all of our past hurt and pain. Remember the Yin and the Yang, the good with the bad, no pain-no gain. Well, it very well applies to love too.

We cannot love if we keep our pain buried deep within our heart and soul, or if we have shut the whole thing down. There are no two ways about it- our pain has to be faced one last time, in order to be released forever.

Pain comes into our life to teach us a lesson, however big or small. By facing it, we accept that it was there, what it has taught us (so that we don’t allow ourselves to get into the same situation) and that it is time that it goes away, as it has served it’s purpose.

Do whatever it takes, in order to release the pain- exercise, sing, dance, write, draw, go for walks, meditate, talk to friends, listen to music, a.s.o. Whatever works for you to feel better, do it. And that is the key:

DO WHATEVER FEELS GOOD.

The more that you release, the better you feel, the more that you open up your heart and let more of the good in. Step by step, you come to the point of completely loving and accepting yourself and everyone around you.

It might seem like a lot of work, but it is definitely worth it.

Just imagine the feeling of joy, happiness, fulfilment, wholeness, calm being an every day part of you.

It is a state of bliss that you never want to leave. That is enlightenment. That is the only way forward, beautiful souls.

Lots of love,

Angela x.

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Lessons that birds teach us

As I was resting on my sofa and looking out of my living room window, I noticed wood pigeons building a nest.

I’ve seen them building nests over the years every year in a different hiding space. One was arranging the twigs that the other one was constantly bringing to it’s partner. When the nest is finished, they lay their eggs, then take turns in looking after them. When the eggs hatch, they take turns in feeding the young and themselves. Then they teach their young all of the life skills and watch them leave the nest, maybe never to see them again. And they keep on repeating the cycle year after year, for the rest of their lives.

That made me ask myself:

  • How come that birds never worry about their young after they’ve left?
  • How can they leave building a nest for the last minute?
  • How come that they don’t have supermarkets or plant their food, yet they always have as much as they need?
  • How can they not worry about the next day or the foreseeable future?
  • How come that they find time to sing every day? and many more questions.

I guess that’s why there are sayings like: “As free as a bird”, “As happy as a lark”, “Bird’s eye view”, “Birds of a feather”, a.s.o. I wasn’t the first person to notice that we can learn from our feathered friends.

Be as it may, animals seem to know and understand the cycles of nature and just go with the flow. They feel when a natural end to a situation has come and they simply accept the change. And live on happily, saluting the Sun every morning and singing it’s lullaby every evening. Meanwhile, us humans think that we know better and go to bed full of worry about the next day.

Who’s the cleverer in this game of life? Us or nature? I am betting on nature any time.

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A dreamer

Something has been playing on my mind ever since I was told it. On the way to the airport, after a family visit, my mother said something. In the context of the type of a person that I am, she said:”You’re just a dreamer, you and people like you”.

Despite it being a matter of fact type of a comment, without any hidden intent, it got to me.

Is being a dreamer a bad thing? Is it really better to always just face the facts and deal with problems, people and situations as they arise? And what about dreaming big?

How many dreamers are out there right now? I would love to hear from you.

My dream world is a perfect version of my life, everything that I want, feel, that I am. There are no limits to what can happen, time and space do not apply. I am not judged, I don’t have to explain myself, or wait for something to happen. I just think of something and it’s there. Even if I keep thinking about the same thing, it always surprises me with a new way that it comes across. It’s always fresh and new.

Some would say it’s idealistic, unrealistic, a waste of time.

To me, I am happiest when I daydream. It is a peaceful, beautiful, non judgmental, all accepting, an unconditional world. My best ideas come from it. I am free to come and go as I like and stay as long as I feel inclined to.

If someone took my dreams away, they would take a huge part of me with them. And I would have to face this 3D world, the harsh reality, the everyday happenings, without my escape, my safe space, my cushion, my perfect world, my preferred situation.

No matter how good or bad my life seems to be, I can feel my dream world waiting for me, calling me to come back to it. It is gentle, safe, loving, patient, giving, bright, optimistic. It is that calm, safe space deep inside of me that I couldn’t be without. That daily experience is keeping me sane, filled with patience and hope. I dare to say that it feels like heaven. Unlike the “real”, everyday world.

No matter what people say, I will always be a dreamer. God created me a dreamer for a reason (Lady Gaga-I was born this way). And that is something that nobody can challenge without losing the argument.

Sending you lots of love and blessings,

Angela.

 

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