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Self-care

What does it mean to self-care? What does it involve? How do we make it an integral part of our every day routine? Do we have a self-care routine to begin with?

It could be my age and my changing circumstances that are making me think about myself more. Whatever it is, I am beginning to notice signs of stress on my body, my mind, my emotional state and my very soul. It is time to take good care of myself, as well as of the people in my life.

I have heard people say that they have a daily routine for themselves, which includes anything from meditation, exercise, singing, dancing, breath work, reading, writing, cooking, and many other things that help them ground, balance, calm down and get back into their optimum centred state.

It is a fact that our physical body changes as we gain years and count birthdays. Menopause has changed me profoundly and I am accepting that my body is in charge. It is asking me to take breaks during the day, to eat regularly, to take supplements, to meditate daily, to pay attention to my breathing, to take regular walks in fresh air, to reach out if I need support, to pace myself, to appreciate good days, good moments, to learn from life’s challenges, to keep surrendering and accepting the things that I can’t change, to appreciate and enjoy the beauty of life, to recognise blessings in the smallest things, to express how I feel freely, to check in with myself all the time, to acknowledge how I feel, to seek pleasure and so many more things.

So, I have decided to create my self-care daily routine. So far, it consists of: having three meals a day, having fresh fruit and/or vegetables daily, meditating, breathing mindfully, going for a walk, having meaningful conversations, taking small breaks when I need to, cooking, listening to music, singing and on a good day dancing. As of recently, I have been introducing a few exercises that I want to expand on. My gym membership isn’t being utilised. I have my reasons to as why, but am aware that paying for it and not using it isn’t going to last much longer. I will decide soon enough wether I am going to use the facilities or cancel it altogether.

Taking care of our needs, listening to our feelings, maintaining and improving our health, doing things that make us happy, but also allowing ourselves to just be. Constant doing is going to wear us out, so let’s take a moment to breathe, to feel the air filling up our body and sending waves of calm through our nervous system. Let’s feel the sun on our skin, notice what nature looks like around us, let’s count our blessings, feel grateful, let’s smile more, allow ourselves to drop into our Heart centre and feel everything. Let us send love out into the world. Let us send thoughts and wishes for peace in the world. Let’s care about ourselves and about each other. Because, caring is sharing. When we look after ourself, we have the love, the patience and the energy to give to the world too.

Be gentle with yourselves, take care and spread the love.

Much love to everyone,

Angela x

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Holding space for ourselves (trusting our guidance)

It has been a while since I posted a blog. It isn’t because I had nothing to write about, but because I felt that I need to give myself time to just be, to live my day to day life. God knows there was enough going on. One very important part of being is resting, allowing our body, heart and mind to recover and re energise. In other words, it is holding space for ourselves.

I was surprised to discover that I haven’t written about holding space before. IT is a crucial part of healing, whether we do it for ourselves or for other people.

In the past I was more likely to do it for others, particularly during the intense 3 years of having a healing practice (September 2019-September 2022). But, time came for a huge change which was that The Body Suite was moving base. After much deliberation, I decided to move back home. As always, my intuition was guiding me but it wasn’t easy to follow it this time. I have put my heart and soul into creating a healing/treatment space, which came perfectly together seemingly out of ether. It was meant to happen. So was this change, I realised later on. It was time for me to hold space for myself this time.

The Autumn and the Winter passed in great internal turmoil because I felt like I have lost my life purpose, I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do next. What transpired was that the timing was right to find and buy a new home (after 2,5 years of searching). After the successful purchase, it was time to give my new home a new lease of life. God knows it needed a lot of work, love, care and attention. Soon after that, I completed a counselling course that was overdue. After asking for several extensions, I finally completed it. Since that was done, I went to visit my nuclear family in Serbia and have been spending a lot of quality time with my children here in UK, never forgetting myself along the way.

These past 9 months were almost like a literal rebirth. Throughout my life, I was focusing too much on other people (easily done for empaths) and neglecting my own needs. That was a life pattern that I had to break. I was aware of that, but never knew how or when to do it. Life has lead me to that point and through that process so flawlessly that I am in awe.

Giving space for ourselves means giving time (for whatever we might need), listening to our needs, following our intuition and letting ourselves relax in this process and enjoy it. It’s my daily practice now, as well as practicing a gratitude meditation every morning facing the sun 🙂

I am sending you so much love, beautiful souls. Enjoy life without delay.

Love and blessings,

Angela x.

 

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One year older (and hopefully wiser)

2022 has been a very dynamic year, full of travels, changes, endings. We were given the freedom of movement back and off I went to: Peru, Serbia, Italy and Macedonia. I have been invited to visit some other locations too, but have decided to draw the line under four air travels abroad. Although, this month has not finished yet :), so watch this space.

There have been three major changes in my life this year: full-on menopause, my eldest child moving away and becoming a self-sufficient student and me embarking on a counselling course.

Menopause has been talked about more than ever before this year, mainly because people in the public eye have decided to speak openly about their personal experiences. I asked my mum how she went through it and got a usual reply of: “I had no time to think about menopause when I was going through it”. To be fair, she had just started her own business back then in a small town that has been ruled by men since time infinite. She has been so successful in doing it that it has become a legacy that has been passed onto a younger generation and is still going strong.

My menopause feels very emotional, there are numerous physical symptoms (tightness in hip area, migraines, restless sleep, excessive hair loss, to name just a few) and the physical and emotional changes play on one’s mind. So, it has been a God-sent to start a new course and explore an area of interest- Humanistic Psychology.

It is a fascinating and hugely applicable subject to life. It highlights the humanness behind people’s thoughts, actions and feelings, the importance of unconditional positive regard for ourselves and for other people, of empathy rather than sympathy, of authenticity and of the fact that we can’t save others-we can only be there as a guide until they figure out a solution for their problems themselves.

I won’t talk much about my son leaving home. It’s what he has been dreaming of and it’s the best thing that has ever happened to him, although challenging at times. So, I am a proud and grateful parent that my baby is on the way to achieving his goals and fulfilling his dreams.

So, what have been the lessons of 2022? Well, I am happy to say that because we are free to travel yet again, I have realised that change is inevitable and it doesn’t always have to be for the worse. Life does go on, no matter what happens. It’s about how we deal with what happens that matters. Accepting responsibility for our own wellbeing and for making the necessary changes for ourselves, accepting what is, adapting to situations, being patient, pragmatic but also realising where we are in all of that, how it makes us feel. Checking in with oneself daily, even many times a day as needed until we are fully conscious of how we feel in any given moment. That is a sacred place to be. That gives us our power back. That enables us to look after ourselves the way we need to be looked after, addressing our needs and wants, to accept and love ourselves unconditionally. Because, it all starts from us, from how we think and feel about ourselves.

My Christmas message for everyone is: love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

Merry Christmas and an amazing New Year from my heart to you.

Love you all beautiful souls xxx.

 

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Life is for living

This year has been challenging to say the least. I am not going to list all the things that have happened, that made me think deeper, change my perspective, soul search, etc. Instead, I want to focus on where I am right now and what I would like my future to be.

I am feeling rebellious. I have had enough of the restrictions, caution, of putting my life on hold. Why should I keep doing it? They say it’s for the common good. Well, guess what- I have been doing that for lifetimes, literally tens of thousands of years over and over again (those that don’t believe in re incarnation might have lost me at this point). This lifetime feels like the final test of my patience and strength. Am I willing to carry on with this Martyr lifestyle where everyone and everything comes before me- work, parenthood, relationships, commitments, public service, etc. The answer is-NO.

Admittedly, it is easier said than done to change my life completely. How do I go about doing it?

I have done SO MUCH work on myself, to feel better, to be healthier, to look better, to be a better person, within my current situation. But I have never put myself first. It has always been done it in between doing things for others.

So, the first step towards putting myself first is facing it all. The second step is deciding that enough is enough. The third step is to start acting like I am my number 1: a lay in in bed over the weekend, making myself a cup of tea before rushing to cook breakfast for everyone, going for a walk when I feel like it, taking a break when I’m tired, travelling, trying out new hobbies, refusing to run around for others all the time, listening to my body, expressing how I feel, voicing my opinion, basically doing my own thing whether they like it or not.

I know that some call this middle life crisis, and they are entitled to their own views (I am not saying their own opinion, because it’s not). If that’s what’s going to make me feel like I am actually alive, so be it. Those that really care will accept this change in me with time. Those that don’t (i.e. those that are loosing a servant, and a general run around person) very well shouldn’t be in my life anyway.

So, there it is. Living one’s life does mean paying a price of losing people and putting new rules and boundaries in place. But, what is the alternative? I am done with just plodding along, waiting for the next instruction and trying to make everyone else happy. I am making myself happy and those that want to stick around are welcome. Those that don’t, I wish you love and light and all the best in the future.

Blessings,

Angela.

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Shadow work

There is this thing called shadow work. I have been at it for a number of years now. It starts with us acknowledging that we are not perfect and that we have to face our own shadow. Our shadow consists of everything that we don’t like about ourselves and the things that we don’t like about our life. There comes a time when we all need to look ourselves in the mirror (‘Man in the mirror’ by Michael Jackson comes to mind).

So, if it’s something that we don’t want to see, why should we do it anyway? It’s because that is the whole point of our existence- to watch and learn and get better at it, at being human.

The tipping point for me was 6 years ago when my health was in a downward spiral. I had brain fog, chronic pain and was exhausted to the point of blackouts. It was becoming dangerous for me to drive. I had to do something, as I had two children to look after, a house, a garden and I was trying to start a business and have just moved house. So, after going down the conventional route of GP, muscular-skeletal specialists, MRI scan, etc., I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Discus Hernia. Because I didn’t want to take pain killers, I was left with doing hydro therapy. That was really pleasant for the moment when I was in warm water. The moment that I came out, everything would start to get on top of me again.

So, an alternative therapist and a close friend of mine, Kim, recommended this amazing chiropractor and a healer, Rene. I knew about chiropractors, but what was a healer? Before I could see him, I had to write my life story- put every significant event in my life in an email to him. As I sat down and tried to recall everything good and bad, many emotions came up for me to deal with. At one point, I asked myself: ‘Why is it that these people and situations still have an impact on me? They are all just a memory now.’ That helped me create a distance between myself and my emotionally charged memories. That was a turning point in my life and a beginning of self healing.

What followed was a series of healing sessions with crystals, energy healing and chiropractice. A whole new world opened up to me and I have been ever since living on daily reading, watching videos, doing courses, having endless discussions, meditating, meeting more likeminded people, opening up a healing practice and doing the healing for others, as well as for myself.

Now, 6 years later, I am still dealing with my shadow, but it has less power over me, it’s layers are thinning and it’s existence is fading away. I know that shadow work never ends, but it allows us to become free, to become who we really are meant to be in this life (as my dear friend, Dee, says).

So, it is up to each end every one of us to decide whether we want to do the shadow work/self discovery or not. But one thing is for sure- nobody else can do it for us.

Love and light,

Angela.

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Affirmations on self love

  • Today I easily and effortlessly expand my capacity to be love, give love and accept love.
  • I let my heart chakra expand easily and the love of the Creator to flow through me today.
  • I am love.
  • I love myself.
  • I accept my love.
  • I am supported and loved.
  • Love fills my being and my world.
  • I am always loving to myself.
  • Love is my truth.
  • I am healed by my love.
  • Love sustains and fulfils me.
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