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Holding space for ourselves (trusting our guidance)

It has been a while since I posted a blog. It isn’t because I had nothing to write about, but because I felt that I need to give myself time to just be, to live my day to day life. God knows there was enough going on. One very important part of being is resting, allowing our body, heart and mind to recover and re energise. In other words, it is holding space for ourselves.

I was surprised to discover that I haven’t written about holding space before. IT is a crucial part of healing, whether we do it for ourselves or for other people.

In the past I was more likely to do it for others, particularly during the intense 3 years of having a healing practice (September 2019-September 2022). But, time came for a huge change which was that The Body Suite was moving base. After much deliberation, I decided to move back home. As always, my intuition was guiding me but it wasn’t easy to follow it this time. I have put my heart and soul into creating a healing/treatment space, which came perfectly together seemingly out of ether. It was meant to happen. So was this change, I realised later on. It was time for me to hold space for myself this time.

The Autumn and the Winter passed in great internal turmoil because I felt like I have lost my life purpose, I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do next. What transpired was that the timing was right to find and buy a new home (after 2,5 years of searching). After the successful purchase, it was time to give my new home a new lease of life. God knows it needed a lot of work, love, care and attention. Soon after that, I completed a counselling course that was overdue. After asking for several extensions, I finally completed it. Since that was done, I went to visit my nuclear family in Serbia and have been spending a lot of quality time with my children here in UK, never forgetting myself along the way.

These past 9 months were almost like a literal rebirth. Throughout my life, I was focusing too much on other people (easily done for empaths) and neglecting my own needs. That was a life pattern that I had to break. I was aware of that, but never knew how or when to do it. Life has lead me to that point and through that process so flawlessly that I am in awe.

Giving space for ourselves means giving time (for whatever we might need), listening to our needs, following our intuition and letting ourselves relax in this process and enjoy it. It’s my daily practice now, as well as practicing a gratitude meditation every morning facing the sun 🙂

I am sending you so much love, beautiful souls. Enjoy life without delay.

Love and blessings,

Angela x.

 

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One year older (and hopefully wiser)

2022 has been a very dynamic year, full of travels, changes, endings. We were given the freedom of movement back and off I went to: Peru, Serbia, Italy and Macedonia. I have been invited to visit some other locations too, but have decided to draw the line under four air travels abroad. Although, this month has not finished yet :), so watch this space.

There have been three major changes in my life this year: full-on menopause, my eldest child moving away and becoming a self-sufficient student and me embarking on a counselling course.

Menopause has been talked about more than ever before this year, mainly because people in the public eye have decided to speak openly about their personal experiences. I asked my mum how she went through it and got a usual reply of: “I had no time to think about menopause when I was going through it”. To be fair, she had just started her own business back then in a small town that has been ruled by men since time infinite. She has been so successful in doing it that it has become a legacy that has been passed onto a younger generation and is still going strong.

My menopause feels very emotional, there are numerous physical symptoms (tightness in hip area, migraines, restless sleep, excessive hair loss, to name just a few) and the physical and emotional changes play on one’s mind. So, it has been a God-sent to start a new course and explore an area of interest- Humanistic Psychology.

It is a fascinating and hugely applicable subject to life. It highlights the humanness behind people’s thoughts, actions and feelings, the importance of unconditional positive regard for ourselves and for other people, of empathy rather than sympathy, of authenticity and of the fact that we can’t save others-we can only be there as a guide until they figure out a solution for their problems themselves.

I won’t talk much about my son leaving home. It’s what he has been dreaming of and it’s the best thing that has ever happened to him, although challenging at times. So, I am a proud and grateful parent that my baby is on the way to achieving his goals and fulfilling his dreams.

So, what have been the lessons of 2022? Well, I am happy to say that because we are free to travel yet again, I have realised that change is inevitable and it doesn’t always have to be for the worse. Life does go on, no matter what happens. It’s about how we deal with what happens that matters. Accepting responsibility for our own wellbeing and for making the necessary changes for ourselves, accepting what is, adapting to situations, being patient, pragmatic but also realising where we are in all of that, how it makes us feel. Checking in with oneself daily, even many times a day as needed until we are fully conscious of how we feel in any given moment. That is a sacred place to be. That gives us our power back. That enables us to look after ourselves the way we need to be looked after, addressing our needs and wants, to accept and love ourselves unconditionally. Because, it all starts from us, from how we think and feel about ourselves.

My Christmas message for everyone is: love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

Merry Christmas and an amazing New Year from my heart to you.

Love you all beautiful souls xxx.

 

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Dealing with negative emotions

Dear ones,

I have written about shadow work before, but working on self is never done (I don’t mean to sound discouraging). It is a fact of life that we are shaped by our experiences, be it day to day or on going things. Therefore, it is just as important to develop spiritual and emotional hygiene, as much as cleaning our bodies. Because, everything gets stored inside, whether it’s a thought, a feeling or food and water that we take in. It’s all going to mix up inside of us and change us. So, the question is: How do I clean myself of the thoughts and feeling that don’t do me any good?

Healing or emotional/spiritual/mental cleansing requires patience. It takes time. We need to allow ourselves to feel, to accept how we feel, to let ourselves surrender to the pain and the memories. By surrender, I mean accept the fact of how something made us feel. Because running from pain doesn’t work.

Something that I can’t quite figure out is why have we (humans) developed this defence mechanism of trying to stop the pain? Even the saying says:”No pain, no gain”. It’s true. We cannot get through something, unless we go through it. Not around it, not over it, but through it. One last time, so that we can put it behind. For good.

Being a highly sensitive empath and a healer, I have had countless conversations with myself and others about the ways of dealing with pain (by pain I refer to negative emotions that cause that feeling). First of all, we have to forget about the culture of treating symptoms or numbing pain (whether it’s medication, sex, alcohol, denial, a.s.o.). What is needed is therapy, or finding a way that helps you (deal with negative emotions). There is so much on offer nowadays: hydrotherapy, hypnosis, polarity, reiki, energy healing, crystal healing, counselling, talking therapy, kinesiology, meditation, exercise, and so many others. The key is to keep trying different modalities or ways of healing until we get somewhere. Whatever makes you feel better for doing it. It takes courage and trying new things, but how would you change things otherwise? Eckhart Tolle said that it is insanity to keep doing the same things and expecting a different result!

On a personal level, I have properly started my healing journey in 2011, after being diagnosed with Discus Hernia and Fibromyalgia. I was in chronic pain, depressed and completely exhausted. After refusing to go down the conventional medical route of taking medication to numb the pain, I had to find alternative/holistic ways of healing/therapy. Holistic medicine means that it treats a person as a whole, not just a certain part of it ( be it a body part or say mental health). That is why it takes time to properly heal and get through something. You cannot expect a person to walk pain free if they have broken a leg. It takes at least three weeks for a bone to heal and for the pain to ease. Why don’t we, then, treat emotional and mental pain and injury the same? It is overdue that we take responsibility for our wellbeing and change that. Take time to heal, to recover, search for ways of helping yourself, make changes, make better choices and you will see results for the better. I promise.

Love, service, light and wisdom,

Angela.

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