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This topic is a vast one. I could write a whole book about it. And, I just might do it one day as I have made quite a few notes about this particular energetic clearance/initiation.

What needs to be mentioned here was the trauma healing that I have completed prior to the ancestral healing. It was the perfect preparation for what followed. I will write about it in due course.

But, back to talking about my ancestors. As a result of the healing, I now feel a complete continuation of the energy. The best way that I can describe it is like it is a continuous light thread. I/my existence/my life blends into that lineage like the rain merges with the river. It blends in a seamless way and carries on flowing in the same direction. It becomes one.

Some may wonder why would anyone bother clearing up the past? Well, without the past there is no present. And without the present, there is no future. So, I did it for my ancestors, for myself and for all the future generations in my bloodline. Because energy never dies. It just changes form. This means that I have had to learn all of the lessons that my ancestors didn’t master, all of the lessons that I didn’t master in my previous lives and that the following generations would have carried on learning what I didn’t manage to learn.

So, clearing up ancestral karma means breaking the old cycles and creating space for the new energy to enter. In this instance, this new energy represents reconnecting with my soul group/tribe, breaking an ancient vow of self judgment, as well as a family vow that is now re written into living the life of peace, balance and harmony.

My mum had asked me recently, when will I start living my life in the present. I have no excuses left at this point in time. So, I am currently flowing with life and eagerly watching where is it taking me. This is a new chapter, unchartered territory where none has ever stepped in before in my bloodline. I have to have the complete trust in the higher guidance that it is taking me exactly where I need to be every step of the way.

I am sending all of you a lot of love and light to guide you on your journey of self discovery.

Blessings,

Angela.

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Green Tara,

Mother of all Buddhas, the innumerable manifestation of Tara, as many as beings require, bringing protection, long life and peace, overcoming obstacles and saving beings from danger.

Green Tara is one of the most beloved of deities in Buddhism. Legend has it that once, many eons ago during the time Buddha Dundubhisvara, there lived a prince by the name of ‘Moon of Wisdom-knowledge’. She was a very devoted disciple and would set out many offerings daily to Buddha and his sangha. Eventually, she generated bodhicitta, the aspiration to attain enlightenment and become a Buddha herself, in order to help all living beings.

Some bhikshus came to know of this, and urged her to dedicate the merits she had created to be reborn as a male. However, the princess rejected this advice, saying:”Here there is no man, there is no woman, no self, no person, and no consciousness. Labelling “male” or “female” has no essence but deceives the evil-minded world.”

She went on to making the following vow:” There are many who desire enlightenment in a man’s body, but none who work for the benefit of sentient beings in the body of a woman. Therefore, until samsara is empty, I shall work for the benefit of sentient beings in a woman’s body.”

From that time onwards, the princess dedicated herself to winning full and complete enlightenment. Once she accomplished that goal, she came to be known as Tara, the Liberator.

Another story regarding Tara, which tells of when Chenrezig had been working to help sentient beings for a very long time. He had been able to help hundreds of thousands of beings to become free from samsara, but then realised there were still so many more beings suffering in samsara, and began to cry. From the pool formed by his tears, a lotus arose and Tara appeared from the lotus, saying:” Don’t worry. I will help you.” Thus Tara is associated with Chenrezig, as well as with Amithabha Buddha (she has a tiny image of Amitabha Buddha on her crown).

Compassionate saviours from samsara! Goddess who is born from the tears of Him with Lotus in Hand, by the power of the vow of Amitabha; most loving, striving for others’ good, Venerable one! I cannot describe your infinite virtues.

– Nargarjuna

The goddess Mother of all sentient beings, Tara is seated upon a lotus arising from the waters of a lake, just as Tara is said to have arisen from the compassionate tears of Avalokiteshvara. Her right hand is in the mudras of supreme generosity indicating her ability to provide beings with whatever they desire. Her left hand at her heart is in the mudras of bestowing refuge: her thumb and ring finger are pressed together to symbolise the untied practice of method and wisdom, and the three remaining fingers are raised to symbolise the Three Jewels of Refuge- Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. In each hand she holds the stem of a blue impala flower. Each flower consists of three blossoms, indicating that Tara, the embodiment of enlightened activities, is the Mother of Buddhas of the past, present and future.

Tara is dressed in the silken robes of royalty. She wears rainbow coloured stockings, a white half-blouse and various jewel ornaments. These symbolise her mastery of the perfection of generosity, morality and so forth. The tiara fastened in her black hair is adorned with jewels, the central one is a Red Ruby symbolic of Amitabha, her spiritual father and the head of her Buddha family.

She is seated in a distinctive posture, her left leg withdrawn to symbolise her renunciation of worldly passion and her right leg extended to show that she is always ready to arise and come to the aid of those who need her help. With a warm compassionate gaze, she looks down upon each sentient being as a mother regards her own child. Her emerald green colour- related to the wind element and hence to movement, signifies her ability to act swiftly and without delay to bring benefits to sentient beings.

Tara is known as “Mother of all Buddhas”. This is because she is the wisdom of reality and all Buddhas and bodhisattvas are born from this wisdom. This wisdom is also fundamental cause of happiness and our own spiritual growth comes from this wisdom. That is why Tara is called the Mother. And Mother Tara has much wisdom to manifest many aspects, sometimes peaceful, sometimes wrathful, in different colours; all to help sentient beings.

Tara’s mantra is:

OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SOHA

OM represents Tara’s holy body, speech and mind

TARE means liberating from true suffering, the suffering of samsara, our aggregates being under the control of delusion and karma

TUTTARE means liberating from the 8 fears, the external dangers, the delusions and also karma

TURE means liberating from the ignorance of the absolute nature of the I; it shows the true cessation of suffering.

NOTE: This irreplaceable message was shared with me by a very good friend, Sher from Nepal.

Love and light,

Angela.

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This is something that I have been doing all my life. Now I feel that it is time to check in with myself and assess this life long belief.

Believing that all people are good at their very essence has been repeatedly challenged throughout my life. However, being a lover of people and believer that we are all one and essentially the same, I have been sticking to it. I have been projecting my traits onto everyone I ever met, whether I knew them or not. My trust was granted.

There have been endless occasions when people proved me wrong and hurt me out of their selfishness. But I kept on believing and getting hurt.

Well, this time was different. Although I had my doubts, I went along with their story. I wanted to believe them. I wanted their story to be true. Personal boundaries went out of the window, promises were being broken, I was getting more and more hurt. And I still stuck to it, giving more and more chances and being let down every time. Until I hit a brick wall.

It was a scam. It was a betrayal. It was all a lie.

And I allowed it to happen. I let people fool me. I pretend not to see through their games. I let things slide. And it becomes the relationship dynamics.

Just to be clear, there are absolutely NO exceptions in the type of a relationship; be it between parents and children, lovers or friends. The basis is the same- it is in human nature to cross boundaries if it is allowed. Or, at least that is my experience.

Therefore, I really have to look the truth in the eye and admit that I have done it to myself again. And, am I going to finally learn this lesson at my middle age? I feel that all of my guides in spirit are screaming at me to listen to my gut and learn from the self inflicted pain. For the last time, people do what they are allowed to do. They treat us the way that we allow them to treat us. They give as much as we ask from them. People are human and human nature is flawed.

So, here we are staring the truth in the eye and accepting things as they are. It’s a significant part of living a conscious life, of living in the present moment, of accepting things as they are and not as they appear to be.

My advice to myself would be to accept what is and see where that leaves me. How does that make me feel? Do I want to carry on with that situation or is it time to move on?

The choice is always ours to make.

Love and light,

Angela x.

 

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Since New Year’s Eve, the trees have become my most profound teachers.

My friend, Monika, has introduced me to the wonder of these extraordinary beings. I have always loved them, planted them, prayed for their protection and wanted to connect to them. But, what I didn’t understand was that trees speak from the heart.

I have been guarding my heart, fearing that there would be people hurting me on purpose. My heart couldn’t take any more pain. So, when my father died last year, I embraced the chance to open up my heart to grief at first. I needed to wash out the pain with my tears and by sharing my feelings openly and honestly.

After a while, peace started replacing the pain and I was ready to speak from my heart. That’s when the trees called me to connect to their world.

It is a world of beauty, intelligence, peace, wisdom, oneness, love and acceptance. It is also so much more than I could ever put into words. Someone once said: ‘Off into the forest I go, to lose myself and find my soul’. That is exactly how I feel. Even when I walk down the same path, I keep noticing “new” trees. Each time more and more of them stop me, connect with me and teach me something unique. It can be anything from a personal message, to a vision about the past or future, a feeling of pure bliss and joy, to a simple introduction of what their role is in the world. Some are record keepers, some are gate keepers, some are young and shy and wouldn’t say much, some are immensely wise, some open up specific chakras, some clear them, some fill them up, some ground you, some give you a feeling of being launched into space at rocket speed. No tree is the same, even within the same species. Just like us.

Science says that we share 50% of our genetic material with the plants. I definitely share more. I have grown up on herbal teas and herbal medicine. That lead to me being a pescatarian and doing plant medicine. I am super sensitive and in tune with nature. I know that we are part of that nature, but most people are out of tune with it. And I feel out of tune with such people.

Plant world completely respects and goes by the natural cycles. There is exact order of when they go to rest, when they start waking up and when they start living their life fully. They live in complete harmony with the rest of nature and they all support each other.

Trees communicate via their roots with all other trees. It literally is like our internet, but without needing devices. You just tune in and exchange information. It’s automatic. Like telepathy. We all have that skill.

I have to single out one of those trees that I will never forget. It is an old Oak (around 600 years old) that took my breath away. Despite it’s size, Monika had to point him out to me as I just didn’t see him. But when I did, I stood there for a while, as it touched me so deep that it made me cry because of it’s majesty, strength and unconditional love that is emanating from it. That moment will stay with me for life.

I could go on about the trees, but I ill end it here for now. Every walk is a new adventure and there will be many more stories to tell.

May you find inspiration wherever you go.

Love and light,

Angela.

 

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It is easy to be positive when things are going well. But, when we’re in the third lockdown not knowing when we will be able to carry on with our life, it’s tough.

So, when I woke up this morning, an inspiring video by Diana Cooper on being positive came up on Youtube. I watched it and my whole world has shifted. She explains in simple terms how our thoughts, our inner dialogue, our beliefs and the words that we use influence what happens in our life.

I used to buy into destiny and I, admittedly, was of a victim mentality. But, once I started thinking in terms of energy, frequency and vibration (kudos to Nikola Tesla, who mentioned it first), it became clear to me that we attract what we emit. Basically, it is like tuning into a radio station (a bit old fashioned, but you get what I mean), you receive the exact station that you’ve tuned into.

Now, figuring something out (or getting it mentally) is one thing, but applying it into my life on a daily basis was another. We have so many programmes stored in our subconscious and active in our conscious mind that it takes a while to re-program ourselves. Shadow work, inner reflection, observing my thoughts, reactions and feelings, creating new healthier habits, clearing the old (thoughts, habits, feelings, memories, beliefs) are just some of the things that have to be done, in order to change one’s mindset.

I am not going to preach on anyone, we are all human and every single one of us on the planet has lessons to learn and unlearn. It is as simple as that. The lessons might be different, but the work that’s needed is the same. It all starts with us and ends with us. It all starts with our attitude, with a willingness to change ourselves for the better, so that we can attract better into our lives.

One crucial thing that I have to mention separately in all this is gratitude. I wrote about this recently and my client and a friend, Rosemary, is absolutely right-being grateful undeniably changes one’s life for the better. Being grateful every day basically means noticing, acknowledging the gifts and all of the good that comes into our life every single day. On some days it may be the basics, like the roof over our head and food on our table. It is, nevertheless, more than homeless have on any day. On other days, like it has been today for me, there are countless blessings that made me feel on top of the world.

So, whatever you do, dear people, be grateful and keep working on yourself. Good work is never completely done, for as long as there is war, hunger, and global crisis of any kind. It’s all a reflection of our inner world, our outdated beliefs.

We can make a difference that we want to see in the world (Mahatma Gandhi).

With love and light,

Angela.

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My last year’s December blog was “2019-a year to remember”. I think that we can all safely say that year 2020 beats it by a mile.

So, what has this year taught me?

I can say that it has taught me for sure to live in the moment.

Life used to be very orderly, planned out, sequential and predictable. In all honesty, it has become simply boring. Everything was about other people, from the nearest and dearest to the wider community. My time and energy were completely spent on thinking about the past, present and future, worrying, stressing, running around and trying to make everyone happy, to meet other peoples’ expectations.

Running around came to a sudden halt at the end of March, when the first lockdown began. I was feeling rebellious, as my healing practice just started to take off properly. I was thriving. So, what good was sitting at home going to do for me or my clients? I had plans for every day and was looking forward to get up and make a difference in someone else’s life.

Well, guess what- I forgot that I need just as much care and attention every day. So, I started going in, listening to my feelings, focusing back on myself, my needs (mind, body and soul). I slowed right down and listened to my body. If it needs rest, I rest, if I’m hungry, I make something nutritious to eat, if I want to be by myself, I go for a walk or read in my room, if I feel like listening to loud music, I create a playlist and blast it from my phone,…

I started evaluating my relationships and distancing from people who I felt took too much of my energy. I went on shamanic retreats, tried all sorts of healing techniques to help my body, mind and soul to heal. After all, what good is a healer if they stop working on healing themselves?

As a result, I feel fulfilled, I look good, I feel strong, I choose what I want to spend my time and energy on, I feel connected, happy, inspired. I have been able to look back and take the lessons out of situations, write them down and apply the wisdom in my life and pass it on to others.

Lockdowns have liberated me, by giving me time to look into my deepest self and embrace it. What I have discovered inside of me is love for myself and everyone else, love for nature and gratitude for each and every moment of my life. I don’t think about what’s gone, nor do I worry about what the future might bring. I just live my life every day, moment by moment and feel grateful for it, whatever it brings my way.

Love and light to all of you, my brothers and sisters,

Angela.

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There is no coincidence that I wrote about gratitude and appreciation about the same time last year. That was the beginning of my discovery of how to be happy.

It is no secret that I’ve recently read The Secret (pun intended) and it has both reminded me of and focused me on being grateful.

This year, more than ever, we’ve all had doom and gloom constantly broadcasted on all kinds of media. Even to the most focused and detached people, this has been a challenge. It has been impossible to ignore empty roads and towns, people panic buying, wearing masks even in their vehicles, staying away from hugging even the people they live with. There is less and less people working at the shops and, in some cases, machines taking their place (that is how I call the self check out). Our high streets look like those places built like a prop for the movie set. But which movies are going to be made on those streets depends largely on us.

So, The Secret comes at the right time as a recommendation by one of my clients. She was adamant that this book changes lives of everyone who reads it.

Being a spiritual person and contemplating on all matters philosophical in life, I thought that I got it all covered. Until I got to the chapter that talks about being grateful, feeling grateful and showing it.

What has really surprised me was my reaction to what I was realising- it isn’t enough to know that we should be grateful, or even say it, we have to feel it and emit that energy back to the world.

Before too long, my closest family were all baffled by the change in me. They were all asking what has happened to me and why was I so nice all of a sudden. I was in shock. I honestly believed that I was a nice person always and to everyone and that it was certainly what I was emanating to them. My son basically told me to stop confusing him and to choose which person do I want to be- the loving and caring or the moody one. So, my instant reply was to carry on consciously showing my love that I was feeling all along.

Life really takes on a different meaning when you practice gratefulness every day. I now go into the smallest of details, acknowledging what I am grateful for and I really am feeling it. It all makes a difference to my day, from a beautiful sunrise that I stoped to admire for a moment, to warm water to wash myself with, a car that always takes me where I need to get to, taking my child/children to school because they still can’t drive, noticing all of the autumn colours surrounding us wherever we go, a roof over my head, money in my bank account, food in the fridge. I say a little gratefulness prayer before my every meal and I bless all the people involved in the food chain- from those that have grown it, picked it, transported it, packaged it, brought it to our shops, put it on the shelves, to me who bought it, brought it home, occasionally cooked it and is now gratefully receiving it!

I am not saying that everyone should do the same, but I enjoy this process, it makes me feel aware, present and grateful, which in turn makes me happy.

So, there you have it. This is my secret of how to be happy at any moment.

I hope that you find yours too.

Love and light,

Angela x.

 

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This year has been challenging to say the least. I am not going to list all the things that have happened, that made me think deeper, change my perspective, soul search, etc. Instead, I want to focus on where I am right now and what I would like my future to be.

I am feeling rebellious. I have had enough of the restrictions, caution, of putting my life on hold. Why should I keep doing it? They say it’s for the common good. Well, guess what- I have been doing that for lifetimes, literally tens of thousands of years over and over again (those that don’t believe in re incarnation might have lost me at this point). This lifetime feels like the final test of my patience and strength. Am I willing to carry on with this Martyr lifestyle where everyone and everything comes before me- work, parenthood, relationships, commitments, public service, etc. The answer is-NO.

Admittedly, it is easier said than done to change my life completely. How do I go about doing it?

I have done SO MUCH work on myself, to feel better, to be healthier, to look better, to be a better person, within my current situation. But I have never put myself first. It has always been done it in between doing things for others.

So, the first step towards putting myself first is facing it all. The second step is deciding that enough is enough. The third step is to start acting like I am my number 1: a lay in in bed over the weekend, making myself a cup of tea before rushing to cook breakfast for everyone, going for a walk when I feel like it, taking a break when I’m tired, travelling, trying out new hobbies, refusing to run around for others all the time, listening to my body, expressing how I feel, voicing my opinion, basically doing my own thing whether they like it or not.

I know that some call this middle life crisis, and they are entitled to their own views (I am not saying their own opinion, because it’s not). If that’s what’s going to make me feel like I am actually alive, so be it. Those that really care will accept this change in me with time. Those that don’t (i.e. those that are loosing a servant, and a general run around person) very well shouldn’t be in my life anyway.

So, there it is. Living one’s life does mean paying a price of losing people and putting new rules and boundaries in place. But, what is the alternative? I am done with just plodding along, waiting for the next instruction and trying to make everyone else happy. I am making myself happy and those that want to stick around are welcome. Those that don’t, I wish you love and light and all the best in the future.

Blessings,

Angela.

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This is my aim. There is no time limit as to when do I want to reach it. I just want to live from my heart.

But, let us talk about our Heart chakra for a moment. It is the 4th bodily chakra. The colours associated with it are pink and green ( it applies when choosing anything that might influence it- from eating a fresh green salad to wearing a Rose Quartz crystal and a green coloured top).

Heart Math institute has established that there are more neural pathways (nerves) coming out of our heart than coming to it from our brain! They call it our “2nd brain”. We feel from our heart, it pumps our life juice around our body. It acts as a magnet.You get the picture. It’s irreplaceable in one’s body.

In spiritual terms, they say that Heart chakra is our energetic centre. Life force energy enters our body through it, comes out through our back and then swirls around our aura. Some say that the whole point of Ascension is to live from the heart.

So, first of all, we have to open our Heart and that is a gradual process. Our Heart is like a 33 petal lotus flower. Every petal opens up after we’ve mastered a lesson (like self love) or let something go for good. We have to be willing and brave to keep our Heart open, which is a challenge in a world that we live in. We have to trust that our love is stronger than any negativity. We feel things stronger than we’ve ever experienced it before and that’s something to get used to. But, at the same time, we learn to discern whether something is worth the bother or not. And some things just can’t get through to us any more. We attract only the people and situations that resonate (which are for our highest good). We feel what’s true and what’s not. We can spread love even when we just think of someone or send them a message. People start feeling our energy, it touches them. Miracles start to happen (or call it serendipity or synchronicity).

The only challenge then becomes, how to keep vibing high and keep our Heart open. That requires being connected to it, listening to what it is saying to you and consciously doing your best to keep the energy flowing.

When I first decided that I will listen to my Heart and follow it (two years ago), it was a scary time. I felt like I was taking a huge risk. But, I wouldn’t have been here sharing my life story with you if I didn’t take that chance. I wouldn’t have gone and done what none of my friends or family ever had even thought of doing, which is to open a healing practice. I followed a call to visit Bosnian pyramids, which was life changing. I started a spiritual gathering circle and met some amazingly talented spiritual people. I did frog medicine (Kambo) and plant medicine (Iboga) which further changed my life beyond recognition. And, last but not least, I wouldn’t have connected with the powerful beings that are the Dragons. They have huge hearts filled with pure love for all.

So, there we are. This is where my living from the heart has taking me so far. Who knows what’s next. All I know is that I’m LOVING IT.

 

Love and light,

 

Angela.

 

 

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This is a slight diversion from my initial idea about this month’s blog. It is closely related to it, though.

Recently, going through my own self discovery and through the work with my clients, something struck me as odd. Why is it that we find listening to our body so alien? It should be the most natural thing to everyone. But it isn’t, at least not in case when you’re an adult.

This leads me to the topic of being our true, authentic self. How can you be yourself, if you don’t know who you are?! How can you know what you need if you’re disconnected from yourself?!

Well, there is no time like the present to find that out. Start wherever you are and ask yourself: “What do I feel like doing right now?” , or “How am I feeling at this moment?” They can be the simplest questions that you can think of to yourself about yourself.

Journalling really has been my go to number 1 in self understanding. My healing journey started when I wrote down my life history in terms of what impacted me as a person the most throughout my life. Since, I have been writing down my thoughts, feelings, events that have happened more recently, as well as revelations about myself and relationships in my life.

I have to admit that I wasn’t my real self in the past either. Most of my life I have been desperately trying to fit into the environment that I was in, painting a picture of who I thought people around me wanted me to be. It was stressful, it was painful and it didn’t work. It made me ill and depressed.

Dear fellow human beings, please consider coming out of your shells, your hiding places and start revealing who you truly are. Start by doing it on your own, for yourself. It isn’t about anyone else after all, or for anyone else. Do it for you, discover yourself, get to know your thoughts, feelings, wants, desires, hobbies, food preferences, how you like to use your time and energy. Focus on you for a change. I cannot emphasise this enough. Discover who you are and then be it. Otherwise, you will never be truly happy or free.

We are born free and should die free as well. But, the job of freeing ourselves from all of the conditioning falls down on us. Only we can make that decision and make it happen. And so we should, as a divine reflection in human form, starseed beings, free spirits, indestructible souls.

We are all energy and energy cannot be contained, it cannot be stopped. It’s very nature is to flow at it’s own pace, wherever it is drawn to go. I can feel it, the everlasting flow that is us, that flows through us since the universe was created and forever more. We are IT. We are the life force searching for it’s true self through space and time. And I wish for you all to find that, to find yourselves soon. So, join the flow tribe. I will meet you there.

With love and light,

Angela.

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