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Holding space for ourselves (trusting our guidance)

It has been a while since I posted a blog. It isn’t because I had nothing to write about, but because I felt that I need to give myself time to just be, to live my day to day life. God knows there was enough going on. One very important part of being is resting, allowing our body, heart and mind to recover and re energise. In other words, it is holding space for ourselves.

I was surprised to discover that I haven’t written about holding space before. IT is a crucial part of healing, whether we do it for ourselves or for other people.

In the past I was more likely to do it for others, particularly during the intense 3 years of having a healing practice (September 2019-September 2022). But, time came for a huge change which was that The Body Suite was moving base. After much deliberation, I decided to move back home. As always, my intuition was guiding me but it wasn’t easy to follow it this time. I have put my heart and soul into creating a healing/treatment space, which came perfectly together seemingly out of ether. It was meant to happen. So was this change, I realised later on. It was time for me to hold space for myself this time.

The Autumn and the Winter passed in great internal turmoil because I felt like I have lost my life purpose, I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do next. What transpired was that the timing was right to find and buy a new home (after 2,5 years of searching). After the successful purchase, it was time to give my new home a new lease of life. God knows it needed a lot of work, love, care and attention. Soon after that, I completed a counselling course that was overdue. After asking for several extensions, I finally completed it. Since that was done, I went to visit my nuclear family in Serbia and have been spending a lot of quality time with my children here in UK, never forgetting myself along the way.

These past 9 months were almost like a literal rebirth. Throughout my life, I was focusing too much on other people (easily done for empaths) and neglecting my own needs. That was a life pattern that I had to break. I was aware of that, but never knew how or when to do it. Life has lead me to that point and through that process so flawlessly that I am in awe.

Giving space for ourselves means giving time (for whatever we might need), listening to our needs, following our intuition and letting ourselves relax in this process and enjoy it. It’s my daily practice now, as well as practicing a gratitude meditation every morning facing the sun 🙂

I am sending you so much love, beautiful souls. Enjoy life without delay.

Love and blessings,

Angela x.

 

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Dealing with negative emotions

Dear ones,

I have written about shadow work before, but working on self is never done (I don’t mean to sound discouraging). It is a fact of life that we are shaped by our experiences, be it day to day or on going things. Therefore, it is just as important to develop spiritual and emotional hygiene, as much as cleaning our bodies. Because, everything gets stored inside, whether it’s a thought, a feeling or food and water that we take in. It’s all going to mix up inside of us and change us. So, the question is: How do I clean myself of the thoughts and feeling that don’t do me any good?

Healing or emotional/spiritual/mental cleansing requires patience. It takes time. We need to allow ourselves to feel, to accept how we feel, to let ourselves surrender to the pain and the memories. By surrender, I mean accept the fact of how something made us feel. Because running from pain doesn’t work.

Something that I can’t quite figure out is why have we (humans) developed this defence mechanism of trying to stop the pain? Even the saying says:”No pain, no gain”. It’s true. We cannot get through something, unless we go through it. Not around it, not over it, but through it. One last time, so that we can put it behind. For good.

Being a highly sensitive empath and a healer, I have had countless conversations with myself and others about the ways of dealing with pain (by pain I refer to negative emotions that cause that feeling). First of all, we have to forget about the culture of treating symptoms or numbing pain (whether it’s medication, sex, alcohol, denial, a.s.o.). What is needed is therapy, or finding a way that helps you (deal with negative emotions). There is so much on offer nowadays: hydrotherapy, hypnosis, polarity, reiki, energy healing, crystal healing, counselling, talking therapy, kinesiology, meditation, exercise, and so many others. The key is to keep trying different modalities or ways of healing until we get somewhere. Whatever makes you feel better for doing it. It takes courage and trying new things, but how would you change things otherwise? Eckhart Tolle said that it is insanity to keep doing the same things and expecting a different result!

On a personal level, I have properly started my healing journey in 2011, after being diagnosed with Discus Hernia and Fibromyalgia. I was in chronic pain, depressed and completely exhausted. After refusing to go down the conventional medical route of taking medication to numb the pain, I had to find alternative/holistic ways of healing/therapy. Holistic medicine means that it treats a person as a whole, not just a certain part of it ( be it a body part or say mental health). That is why it takes time to properly heal and get through something. You cannot expect a person to walk pain free if they have broken a leg. It takes at least three weeks for a bone to heal and for the pain to ease. Why don’t we, then, treat emotional and mental pain and injury the same? It is overdue that we take responsibility for our wellbeing and change that. Take time to heal, to recover, search for ways of helping yourself, make changes, make better choices and you will see results for the better. I promise.

Love, service, light and wisdom,

Angela.

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Energy healing

So, what is energy healing? In order to explain it properly, I will break it down to a description of what is energy and then what is healing.

Energy is called different things from life force, to strength, vitality or power. All of us have energy body, which is a layer in our aura (energetic field around our body), reflecting the energy in our chakras/energy centres. It flows into our body through our Heart chakra, flows out of our body at the back of it and flows all around our body. It flows like that for as long as we live. We have 8 main bodily chakras or energy centres: Base, Sacral, Naval, Solar plexus, Heart, Throat, Third eye and Crown. Each chakra works on it’s own and in synch with the other chakras when we are in optimum health. When we are not, is where healing comms in.

Healing is an ancient health technique that has existed as long as there has been life on this planet (notice how I don’t attribute healing to people). We haven’t invented it. Nature has. People have invented medicine. What we have have learnt right from the beginning of our existence is that all of us have the natural healing ability to improve our health to the point that we don’t feel the symptoms any more (I am not going to use the term “cure” or “heal” because some may feel like it’s a claim). Nature (plants, animals, the elements, people) contain the pure, raw and unspoiled life force. Humans tend to “spoil” it, try to restrict it, direct it and therefore make it stagnant and polluted. Hardly anyone talks about aura pollution, it’s mainly about the polluted environment. The same happens within our bodies (“As within, so without”).

A healer or a practitioner of this ancient healing technique, tunes into their client’s aura and into each chakra at the time. We can sense what the energy condition is, whether it’s stuck or stagnant, moving too slow or too fast, or at the optimum speed, whether it’s in synch with the other chakras or it’s working in isolation (that happens when we over use a particular part of our body, most typically our brain). An energy healing practitioner then works with the energy in each chakra in order to release/cleanse the stuck or stagnant energy, until they feel that it is flowing freely again. Then they move onto the next energy centre and re connects the two, until all of the energy fields/centres are free flowing in synergy.

There is so much more detail that can be brought into this conversation, but the purpose of this blog is to explain the gist of the energy healing. One quote that always springs to mind that describes it perfectly is a famous saying by Nikola Tesla:” If you want to discover the secret of the Universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration”. That is the essence of energy healing. It is no secret any more.

If you want to experience it first hand, contact me for an initial consultation and a booking of a treatment. All contact details are listed on the last/contact page on my website.

I am wishing you optimum health.

Love and light,

Angela.

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Ancestral healing

This topic is a vast one. I could write a whole book about it. And, I just might do it one day as I have made quite a few notes about this particular energetic clearance/initiation.

What needs to be mentioned here was the trauma healing that I have completed prior to the ancestral healing. It was the perfect preparation for what followed. I will write about it in due course.

But, back to talking about my ancestors. As a result of the healing, I now feel a complete continuation of the energy. The best way that I can describe it is like it is a continuous light thread. I/my existence/my life blends into that lineage like the rain merges with the river. It blends in a seamless way and carries on flowing in the same direction. It becomes one.

Some may wonder why would anyone bother clearing up the past? Well, without the past there is no present. And without the present, there is no future. So, I did it for my ancestors, for myself and for all the future generations in my bloodline. Because energy never dies. It just changes form. This means that I have had to learn all of the lessons that my ancestors didn’t master, all of the lessons that I didn’t master in my previous lives and that the following generations would have carried on learning what I didn’t manage to learn.

So, clearing up ancestral karma means breaking the old cycles and creating space for the new energy to enter. In this instance, this new energy represents reconnecting with my soul group/tribe, breaking an ancient vow of self judgment, as well as a family vow that is now re written into living the life of peace, balance and harmony.

My mum had asked me recently, when will I start living my life in the present. I have no excuses left at this point in time. So, I am currently flowing with life and eagerly watching where is it taking me. This is a new chapter, unchartered territory where none has ever stepped in before in my bloodline. I have to have the complete trust in the higher guidance that it is taking me exactly where I need to be every step of the way.

I am sending all of you a lot of love and light to guide you on your journey of self discovery.

Blessings,

Angela.

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The Trees

Since New Year’s Eve, the trees have become my most profound teachers.

My friend, Monika, has introduced me to the wonder of these extraordinary beings. I have always loved them, planted them, prayed for their protection and wanted to connect to them. But, what I didn’t understand was that trees speak from the heart.

I have been guarding my heart, fearing that there would be people hurting me on purpose. My heart couldn’t take any more pain. So, when my father died last year, I embraced the chance to open up my heart to grief at first. I needed to wash out the pain with my tears and by sharing my feelings openly and honestly.

After a while, peace started replacing the pain and I was ready to speak from my heart. That’s when the trees called me to connect to their world.

It is a world of beauty, intelligence, peace, wisdom, oneness, love and acceptance. It is also so much more than I could ever put into words. Someone once said: ‘Off into the forest I go, to lose myself and find my soul’. That is exactly how I feel. Even when I walk down the same path, I keep noticing “new” trees. Each time more and more of them stop me, connect with me and teach me something unique. It can be anything from a personal message, to a vision about the past or future, a feeling of pure bliss and joy, to a simple introduction of what their role is in the world. Some are record keepers, some are gate keepers, some are young and shy and wouldn’t say much, some are immensely wise, some open up specific chakras, some clear them, some fill them up, some ground you, some give you a feeling of being launched into space at rocket speed. No tree is the same, even within the same species. Just like us.

Science says that we share 50% of our genetic material with the plants. I definitely share more. I have grown up on herbal teas and herbal medicine. That lead to me being a pescatarian and doing plant medicine. I am super sensitive and in tune with nature. I know that we are part of that nature, but most people are out of tune with it. And I feel out of tune with such people.

Plant world completely respects and goes by the natural cycles. There is exact order of when they go to rest, when they start waking up and when they start living their life fully. They live in complete harmony with the rest of nature and they all support each other.

Trees communicate via their roots with all other trees. It literally is like our internet, but without needing devices. You just tune in and exchange information. It’s automatic. Like telepathy. We all have that skill.

I have to single out one of those trees that I will never forget. It is an old Oak (around 600 years old) that took my breath away. Despite it’s size, Monika had to point him out to me as I just didn’t see him. But when I did, I stood there for a while, as it touched me so deep that it made me cry because of it’s majesty, strength and unconditional love that is emanating from it. That moment will stay with me for life.

I could go on about the trees, but I ill end it here for now. Every walk is a new adventure and there will be many more stories to tell.

May you find inspiration wherever you go.

Love and light,

Angela.

 

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Living in the moment

My last year’s December blog was “2019-a year to remember”. I think that we can all safely say that year 2020 beats it by a mile.

So, what has this year taught me?

I can say that it has taught me for sure to live in the moment.

Life used to be very orderly, planned out, sequential and predictable. In all honesty, it has become simply boring. Everything was about other people, from the nearest and dearest to the wider community. My time and energy were completely spent on thinking about the past, present and future, worrying, stressing, running around and trying to make everyone happy, to meet other peoples’ expectations.

Running around came to a sudden halt at the end of March, when the first lockdown began. I was feeling rebellious, as my healing practice just started to take off properly. I was thriving. So, what good was sitting at home going to do for me or my clients? I had plans for every day and was looking forward to get up and make a difference in someone else’s life.

Well, guess what- I forgot that I need just as much care and attention every day. So, I started going in, listening to my feelings, focusing back on myself, my needs (mind, body and soul). I slowed right down and listened to my body. If it needs rest, I rest, if I’m hungry, I make something nutritious to eat, if I want to be by myself, I go for a walk or read in my room, if I feel like listening to loud music, I create a playlist and blast it from my phone,…

I started evaluating my relationships and distancing from people who I felt took too much of my energy. I went on shamanic retreats, tried all sorts of healing techniques to help my body, mind and soul to heal. After all, what good is a healer if they stop working on healing themselves?

As a result, I feel fulfilled, I look good, I feel strong, I choose what I want to spend my time and energy on, I feel connected, happy, inspired. I have been able to look back and take the lessons out of situations, write them down and apply the wisdom in my life and pass it on to others.

Lockdowns have liberated me, by giving me time to look into my deepest self and embrace it. What I have discovered inside of me is love for myself and everyone else, love for nature and gratitude for each and every moment of my life. I don’t think about what’s gone, nor do I worry about what the future might bring. I just live my life every day, moment by moment and feel grateful for it, whatever it brings my way.

Love and light to all of you, my brothers and sisters,

Angela.

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Shadow work

There is this thing called shadow work. I have been at it for a number of years now. It starts with us acknowledging that we are not perfect and that we have to face our own shadow. Our shadow consists of everything that we don’t like about ourselves and the things that we don’t like about our life. There comes a time when we all need to look ourselves in the mirror (‘Man in the mirror’ by Michael Jackson comes to mind).

So, if it’s something that we don’t want to see, why should we do it anyway? It’s because that is the whole point of our existence- to watch and learn and get better at it, at being human.

The tipping point for me was 6 years ago when my health was in a downward spiral. I had brain fog, chronic pain and was exhausted to the point of blackouts. It was becoming dangerous for me to drive. I had to do something, as I had two children to look after, a house, a garden and I was trying to start a business and have just moved house. So, after going down the conventional route of GP, muscular-skeletal specialists, MRI scan, etc., I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Discus Hernia. Because I didn’t want to take pain killers, I was left with doing hydro therapy. That was really pleasant for the moment when I was in warm water. The moment that I came out, everything would start to get on top of me again.

So, an alternative therapist and a close friend of mine, Kim, recommended this amazing chiropractor and a healer, Rene. I knew about chiropractors, but what was a healer? Before I could see him, I had to write my life story- put every significant event in my life in an email to him. As I sat down and tried to recall everything good and bad, many emotions came up for me to deal with. At one point, I asked myself: ‘Why is it that these people and situations still have an impact on me? They are all just a memory now.’ That helped me create a distance between myself and my emotionally charged memories. That was a turning point in my life and a beginning of self healing.

What followed was a series of healing sessions with crystals, energy healing and chiropractice. A whole new world opened up to me and I have been ever since living on daily reading, watching videos, doing courses, having endless discussions, meditating, meeting more likeminded people, opening up a healing practice and doing the healing for others, as well as for myself.

Now, 6 years later, I am still dealing with my shadow, but it has less power over me, it’s layers are thinning and it’s existence is fading away. I know that shadow work never ends, but it allows us to become free, to become who we really are meant to be in this life (as my dear friend, Dee, says).

So, it is up to each end every one of us to decide whether we want to do the shadow work/self discovery or not. But one thing is for sure- nobody else can do it for us.

Love and light,

Angela.

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2019-a year to remember

Before I can go into the next year and a new decade, I have to take one last look back on the year that made me.

In January 2019, I launched my healing business (domain name, website, a treatment room). It was a dream come true and I was the happiest person alive!

In March I visited the Bosnian pyramids. That trip delivered in bucketloads and more! Healing energy was everywhere: in the air, on the ground and even more so underground. The beauty of the place and it’s people left me wanting to come back every year for the rest of my life. It is the only place that ever truly felt like home.

In May I went to my niece’s wedding in my home country, Serbia. I haven’t been to a wedding for 15 years and I danced all night. The atmosphere of love and happiness filled me up for months to come.

In August we went to an english wedding in Macedonia. That was another magical day, filled with family reunions, music and dance.

On 9th of September, I opened my healing practice in town, joining a vibrant team consisting of: Pilates, Yoga, Pole Dancing, Belly dancing and Feldenkreiss healing technique. Since then, I have been working flat out to make things happen and to balance it with my home life too. I’ve never been a working mum before. Some might say that I had an easy life up to now. There is some truth in it, but I’ve always known that I had more in me, that a higher calling was out there for me to find it. This is it. It’s a culmination of a lifetime of soul searching, reading, learning, thinking, meditating, clearing, reflecting, deep conversations, visions, higher guidance, of looking for a purpose and finding it, training, practising and bringing a vision into reality.

However, I would be lying to myself and everyone else, if I didn’t say that everything comes at a price, as well as for a reason. The price is that I became a different person through this process and everyone around me has to get used to the new me. It is the hardest for my family, as they have lived with a different mummy and wife for 15-20 years before. Of course every change takes getting used to, but this one was quite drastic- from a quiet house wife and mum, to a healer in the public eye. Truth be told, not everyone is going to accept my transformation. That is something that I have to come to terms with.

One thing is for sure, my life will never be the same, or for the people around me. So, here’s to a new year and a new decade of love, balance, understanding and abundance.

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year everyone.

Love and blessings,

Angela x.

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